


Light In The Dark

by Kate04



Category: Major Crimes (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 05:17:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 23,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2495852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate04/pseuds/Kate04
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to 'Tears On Her Dark Face'. They keep running into each other and it keeps getting more and more complicated over the years, until suddenly, it's all very easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm Going Slightly Mad

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to a story I wrote a while ago – Tears In Her Dark Face. It would make sense to read that before starting with this one. Otherwise it might not make a lot of sense. 
> 
> A big ‘thank you’ goes to my wonderful beta Most Bossy Robin once again. She’s the best!
> 
> lontanissima wielded the whip and gave me her opinion and the title and Kadi219 did a lot of handholding and poking. *hugs*
> 
> Disclaimer: Not my characters, not my universe – I just want to play.

 

> _When he kisses her storms rise beneath her skin;_
> 
> _for she is the ocean, and he, her moon._
> 
>  

**Time:** Present

 

Sharon studied her reflection in the full-length mirror, turning this way and that and running her hands over the smooth fabric of the red dress. It clung to her body and showed off all of her curves – not just the good ones.

When had that belly appeared and where had her waist gone? She turned around again and stared at her backside. She was certain that it had been rounder and firmer not so long ago.

Sharon let her hands drop and her shoulders slump as she turned away from the mirror. Her displeased glare landed on the man casually leaning against the opposite wall.

Gavin looked her up and down, an expression of deep concentration on his face, before he pursed his lips and shook his head.

“I’m not sure what it is about this dress, but it just doesn’t do anything for you, honey. I thought it would look great on you, but I was wrong.”

He sounded slightly offended that the dress defied his usually impeccable eye for clothes. It was why Sharon loved taking him along for shopping trips - especially when she was searching for something specific. At that moment she wasn’t so sure if the dress was the problem here. Maybe it was just that she was getting too old for the kinds of dresses she liked to wear. It was to be expected, really. Somehow Sharon had hoped that it would be a few more years – or decades – before she’d have to worry about that.

When Gavin held out another dress for her, she gave him a doubtful look.

“I’m not sure if this is going to be any better. Maybe I should be going with something a little more …” She couldn’t bring herself to finish that sentence, fearing that actually saying the words _age appropriate_ would make this dreadful situation even more real. She had never worried about her age before, but these last few months it seemed to invade her thoughts again and again. The next big one wasn’t too far off and she was starting to fret about it, even though she would never admit to it to anyone.

Her friend had known her for many years and he could read her moods like no other. He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head to the side for a moment.

“Oh no, you don’t! You’re not going to go all old lady on me, darling! I won’t have it. Go on, get rid of that rag and show me how you rock this one. And stop your whining. You’re not old.”

He shoved a black dress into her hands, turned her around and pushed her back into the changing room. Knowing that arguing with him would be useless, Sharon peeled herself out of the red dress and hung it over the door for Gavin to take away, catching a glimpse of the price tag. That _rag_ , as he had called it, would have been out of her price range, anyway. Sometimes he forgot that, while not poor by any means, Sharon wasn’t in the same league as he when it came to income.

Just to save herself the heart attack later on, Sharon squinted at the price tag on the dress he had just handed her and was pleased to see that it was much closer to the limit she had set herself, if still slightly more expensive than she would have liked.

She enjoyed the way the black silk felt against her skin as she brushed her hands over it and the zipper that ran all the way down the back of the dress intrigued her. As she slipped into it and turned around in front of the mirror, she liked what she saw a lot more than before. The black, knee-length skirt hugged her hips without enhancing certain imperfections. The bodice was black and cream-coloured with black lace applications, a scalloped V-shaped neckline and short lace sleeves. Her plain white bra didn’t quite produce the effect that was needed for this dress, but that was the smallest problem. A small smile crept onto her face. It was just another excuse to make a stop at the lingerie department.

Sharon closed her eyes for a moment and imagined Andy’s hands on her neck, teasing her, before he slowly drew the zipper all the way down, gasping when he caught sight of a tiny piece of lace covering her butt.

Her smile faltered the moment that thought crossed her mind, thinking back to the way that part of her anatomy had seemed to droop so sadly in the red dress. Suddenly, the black dress seemed awfully tight and the sight of her cleavage made it hard to imagine that it was just a matter of another bra.

She was still frowning at her reflection when Gavin burst into the stall.

“Darling, what’s taking you so long?” He stood behind her, peering over her shoulder at the mirror.

“Okay, we need to make a trip to the fifth floor and find you something nice for the dangly bits, but I like this. It’s classy, yet sexy. Absolutely perfect for you. I knew I’ve still got it.”

He grinned at her, obviously satisfied with his choice. He turned her a little to study her profile, his eyes lingering on her behind for a moment before he nodded.

“Yes that will do nicely. I still don’t know what exactly you’ve got planned, but I’m sure this will be the perfect outfit.”

When his eyes met hers in the mirror, he noticed her sceptical look and the way she frowned at what she saw. He turned her around and pushed her down to sit on the small bench in the corner as he squatted down in front of her, his hands resting on her knees.

“Alright, what’s up with that mood of yours? You look as if someone shot your puppy.”

Sharon sighed and gave him an unhappy pout.

“I’m just beginning to realise that I’m not as young as I used to be and it’s starting to show. I don’t think I can pull off a dress like this anymore.”

Gavin gave her a long look before he shook his head and spoke.

“Honey, this is complete bullshit and you know it. How long have we known each other? You’ve never been one for false modesty. Don’t start now; it’s beneath you. We both know that there’s more to it, so stop fretting over nothing and tell Uncle Gavin what’s going on.”

She snorted at his words. He did indeed know her too well. Of course he’d realise there was more to her peculiar mood. For a moment she considered brushing his concern off, but then decided against it. This entire situation had her tied into a knot for days now. Maybe talking about it would help. Who could she trust with this story if not her dearest friend?

Sighing in resignation, she patted his hand and stood.

“Okay, you win, but not here. This conversation needs a bottle of wine and a quiet place.” She raised her eyebrow at him in question.

“You know the way to my heart. First we need to pay for that dress and get you something to wear under it.” He looked at her feet for a moment, his eyes glazing over.

“You’ve still got those cream-coloured pumps with the black ankle strap, right? Those would be perfect with this dress.”

Sharon went through her shoe collection in her mind, trying to find the pair Gavin thought about and she smiled brightly when she did.

“You’re thinking about the Kate Spades, right? Yes, I’ve still got them. It’s been a long time since I last wore those.”

He almost bounced in excitement before he turned around to leave the stall.

“Get out of that dress and let’s get the work part of this trip over with.”

She shook her head at his back. Apparently, she was going to buy this dress. She should have been offended at his assumption that she’d just do as he said, but she trusted Gavin implicitly, especially when it came to fashion. He would never let her buy anything that looked less than fabulous and he had no qualms about being completely honest.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

“Alright, you’ve got your wine and your quiet place, now spill it. What’s the problem?”

Of course he wouldn’t forget about that, Sharon thought. Why had she even entertained that thought? Gavin never forgot anything. She studied the contents of her glass for a long moment, letting her mind linger on the swirling, ruby liquid.

“I think I’ve got a date.” She didn’t dare meet his eyes. It was ridiculous. She was almost sixty and divorced. Dating was something she had done forty years ago.

“You _think_ you’ve got a date? Either you’ve got a date or you don’t.” She rolled her eyes at him.

“It’s not that easy. We’re friends and there are certain complications.” Sharon shrugged, unsure how to put all those conflicting feelings into words.

Gavin studied her over the rim of his glass for a long moment, until his eyes widened and he gasped.

“No! No way! It’s not…” He lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “We’re not talking about a certain Lieutenant here, are we?”

When she blushed and lowered her gaze to stare at her hands, he had his answer.

“Oh my God, you’re crazy! I never thought you of all people would go for an illicit affair with a subordinate!” His happy grin belied his shocked tone. Great, so her best friend was having a field day with her misery.

“It’s neither illicit nor is it an affair. Not really. I’m divorced and it’s not against the rules, as long as we report it. Besides, right now it’s nothing. We’re just friends,” she reasoned.

“And yet, here you are, obsessing over the way you look in a cocktail dress. I’m sure you give that much thought to the way you look every time you go out with me, too.” His sarcastic tone and raised eyebrow made the corners of her mouth twitch as she looked at him from under her eyelashes.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so. I sense a story behind this and I want to hear it. All the gory details. It’s time to open the closet and let those skeletons run free.”

He was entirely too gleeful for Sharon’s taste and she gave him one of her evil glares to make sure he understood that. When it had as little effect as she had suspected, she heaved a sigh and gave in.

“You’re right, there is a story behind this and it’s a long and complicated one. It started before we knew each other, shortly before I transferred to Internal Affairs.”

She told him about that day, more than twenty years ago, when she had caught her husband cheating and had ended up in a bar, trying to find solace in a glass wine. She told him about that handsome stranger, who had listened to her so attentively, who had shared his own sad story with her - the handsome stranger, who had made her forget about her worries for a short while in the restroom of that bar.

Gavin looked at her with an expression of fake outrage.

“Sharon, you little hussy. Who would’ve thought that you’d be one of _those_ women? Was it good? Did you do it again? When did you find out who he was?” He looked at her expectantly, almost bouncing on his chair.

“To be honest, I don’t have a clear recollection of it. It was a long time ago, for one, I was upset and a bit over my two-glass limit, so things are a bit fuzzy. He did manage to take my mind off things for a moment, though,” she said with a smile.

It was easier to think about that time after all these years, now that she actually knew that handsome stranger and felt a little more for him than just this sizzling sensation of intoxication and instant attraction. They had come a long way since that dark and rainy night. It hadn’t always been easy and they hadn’t always gotten along as well as that first night. There was awkwardness and anger, passion and longing, before they finally found a safe haven in their solid friendship. And now everything was up in the air once again.

 


	2. It Had To Be You

**Time:** A few months after the events of “Tears On Her Dark Face”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

 

It was just past 2 am and raining heavily. Sharon was so far beyond tired that she only functioned on autopilot. Ricky had been home with an ear infection for almost a week, being understandably cranky and hadn't let her sleep more than two hours at a time. Between work, dealing with the somewhat agitated babysitter, the sweet, elderly lady from next door, who kept an eye on her kids when she had to go out late and several sleepless nights, she was running on fumes. Today was her first full day back at work and she had drawn the on-call rotation right away. Not for the first time did she wonder why officers always had to shoot or beat up people so late at night.

As she walked towards the crime scene, Sharon took a deep breath and steeled herself for what she knew by now would come - the hate of her fellow officers. It was something she hadn't gotten used to in the few months after her transfer to Internal Affairs.

Passing the tape, she saw hostile looks aimed at her and the whispering started the moment they thought her to be out of earshot. She had better ears than most, though, and the comments stung more than she would ever admit.

When she flashed her badge at the Robbery-Homicide Lieutenant who seemed to be the incident commander, he rolled his eyes and gestured to a tall, dark haired man in a blue LAPD jacket, who sat in the back of an ambulance, cradling a bandaged hand to his chest and studying his shoes intently. She strode over to him and introduced herself. At the sound of her voice, he looked up and stated at her wide-eyed and the moment she took in the somewhat familiar features, she understood why.

She felt heat rise to her cheeks and was grateful for the flashing lights of the police cars and ambulances, which illuminated the night and hid her embarrassment. Of all the people she could have had to investigate as one of her first cases in this division, it had to be the one man she had hoped never to run into again. What were the odds?

All the pain and the guilt of that night a few months ago came rushing back and it was all she could do not to turn around and run away. The fact that he seemed to be just as uncomfortable did not make her feel any better.

Swallowing her misplaced feelings and the urge to flee, she focused on the most immediate problem. She nodded in greeting, putting on a practised smile.

“Sergeant Flynn?”

At his nod she continued.

“I’m Sergeant Raydor with Internal Affairs. Could you please tell me what happened here?”

He sneered at her, his own embarrassment making room for that hostile look she saw wherever she went while on the job. At least he didn’t look like he was going to bring up that unfortunate incident in the pub.

“Yeah, I can tell you what happened.”

His voice carried so much anger that Sharon almost recoiled from it.

“We knocked on our suspect’s door to invite him – politely – to join us for a chat downtown. He wasn’t too eager, though. Ran into the apartment and when we went after him he and his buddies over there decided to put up a fight. Didn’t go so well for them, so the suspect drew a gun. I was faster and, well, I only got him in the shoulder, anyway. It’s not like I killed the asshole.”

She gave him a tight smile and hummed low in her throat at his dismissive tone. Studying his injured hand and the cuts and bruises on his face, Sharon decided that he wasn’t seriously hurt.

“Do you think you’re up to walking me through it, Sergeant?”

His derisive snort was followed by a grunt as he pushed himself up. The way he held himself indicated that he had taken a good blow or two to the midsection. If he weren’t such a jerk about all this, Sharon would actually feel sorry for him.

The walk-through went a lot more smoothly than she expected. Underneath his antagonistic exterior Sergeant Flynn was a professional and knew that it was in his best interest to work with her.

When they where done and back outside, Sharon turned towards him, her cold façade relaxing slightly.

“Thank you for your cooperation, Sergeant Flynn. If I’ve got any further questions, I’ll let you know. As soon as I’m done with my investigation, my report will be sent to your captain. Until then, you’ll have to stay behind your desk, of course.”

“How long do you think that’s gonna take?”

It was obvious that he didn’t like the prospect of being stuck on desk duty. He also looked exhausted, pain clouding his dark eyes.

Sharon allowed some warmth to slip into her gaze.

“It shouldn’t take more than a couple of days if it’s all as straightforward as it looks.”

She saw him bristling at the implication that he might have been lying to her and Sharon hurried to go on before he could vent his anger and she’d have to do something about that, too. She really didn’t feel like writing even more reports if it wasn’t strictly necessary. As it was, it would be close to dawn by the time she got all the statements she needed and she’d really like to make it home in time to have breakfast with her children.

She briefly touched his arm in a calming gesture and gave him a slight smile.

“Go home and get some rest. By the time you feel better, this should all have resolved itself.”

She saw him release a breath, his shoulders slumping in defeat. For a moment he looked like he had that night in the pub when he had told her about his messed up marriage. The thought of what had happened after that sent a shiver down her spine and made her insides tremble. Though not unpleasant, the sensation was highly unwelcome and Sharon decided that is was time she walked away

The case was indeed resolved by the end of the next day, as all witnesses corroborated the Sergeant’s statement. Sharon was relieved that there was no need for her to question him again. Considering his rather impressive file, she was pretty sure that their paths would cross again eventually. She just hoped that it wouldn’t be any time soon.


	3. Don't Wake Me Up

**Time:** About two years after the events of Chapter Two **  
**

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

Sharon found Sergeant Flynn in the break room of the Robbery-Homicide department, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Good, she thought, that should sober him up. She took a deep breath before she walked over to the counter and leaned against it, facing him. She waited for him to acknowledge her presence, her arms crossed and her eyebrow raised expectantly. 

“I wondered how long it would take for one of you to come find me.” He still didn’t look at her, busying himself with making more coffee. 

“And here I am. I suppose you know what I want to talk about?” 

Andy finally turned towards her, letting his eyes travel over her. It had been a while since they’d last run into each other – almost two years, if he wasn’t mistaken. He still remembered that rainy night and the warmth in her tone as she had reassured him. She had looked a lot softer back then. He studied her dark grey suit, the immaculately styled hair and the firm set of her jaw. Her tone, while not unfriendly, lacked any kind of warmth. It looked like she had actually turned into one of the rat squad. That fact did nothing to elevate his mood. He gave her a derisive sneer before he turned back to the coffee machine. 

“Yeah, I can guess. Alright, let me have it.” He spread his arms in a gesture of mock surrender, looking at her expectantly. 

“Sergeant, this is no joke. You punched a superior officer in the face. You’re very lucky that he threw the first punch and that there were witnesses. Otherwise that little stunt would’ve cost you your badge.”

She studied him as his gaze rested on the black liquid in his cup. She could tell that her last statement had gotten through to him. Sharon Raydor knew more about alcohol abuse than she would like to. She had seen it almost every day for many years, before she had kicked her husband out. The slightly unfocused look and the overly deliberate movements spoke of a late night with a bottle, an early morning with a hangover and a glass of whiskey or two to take off the edge. It was mid-morning now, so it was a safe bet that he was still over the legal limit. 

When the silence between them stretched on for longer than he could take, Andy gave her a seemingly indifferent shrug. 

“So what? Am I suspended now?” 

For a moment, Sharon was tempted to say yes. She wasn’t very receptive to his tone, and the fact that he didn’t seem to take this seriously, nor even fear she’d know he was drunk. She did recognize the typical behavioral pattern of an addict who had stopped caring.

Before heading down to talk to him, she had looked into his personnel file and had done some digging. She’d found out that his wife had filed for divorce a while ago. It certainly explained his morose mood and the deteriorating condition. 

He wasn’t the first officer she’d seen go down that road. The nature of their jobs often led to excessive drinking and problematic personal relationships. She had seen so many good officers trying to find solace at the bottom of a bottle after they lost their families to the job, only to lose their job to the bottle. She would be damned if Andy Flynn was one of them. She couldn’t change the fact that he’d lost his family, but she wouldn’t let him toss away his career. From what she’d read and heard about him, he was a good cop. 

“No, you’re not suspended – yet. You and Lieutenant Sanders are going to attend a two-week anger management seminar. You will spend those two weeks sitting next to each other and you will behave like the adults you’re supposed to be.” 

His lips curled in distaste, but Sergeant Flynn gave her a curt nod. 

“Yes, ma’am. Is that all?” 

He was clearly impatient to get away from her, but Sharon wasn’t done with him, yet. 

“No, that’s not all. We both know what the result would be if I were to let you take a blood alcohol test right now and what the consequences of that result would be. I realise that you have a lot going on in your personal life right now and I’m willing to look the other way this one time. I do, however, expect you to get a handle on this problem, immediately.” 

It took a few seconds for the words to sink in and Sharon could see the exact moment when they did. His eyes darkened, anger scrawled across his face, his entire body tense with it. For a second she thought he might hit something, but his clenched fists remained at his side. 

“I don’t know who you think you are, lady, but keep your nose out of my personal life. It’s none of your business what I do once I punch out. I don’t need you or anyone else telling me what I should or shouldn’t do about my problems.” 

His loud voice echoed in the small room and Sharon fought the need to step back from the unpleasantly loud noise. She gave him a hard stare, not letting his open antagonism intimidate her. She was cutting him serious slack and was a little sad that he couldn’t see that. 

“You’re right, your personal problems are none of my business, but when you turn up at work under the influence, what you do after hours _becomes_ my business. Let me be perfectly clear here. I expect you to pack your things and go home. I expect you to sleep it off and then go out to find an AA meeting. I expect you to do whatever it takes to get a handle on your drinking, because the next time I catch you showing up here while drunk – or even just slightly intoxicated – I will personally make sure that you lose your badge.” 

Andy stared at her, rage boiling in the pit of his stomach, his head pounding frantically. Her ice-cold look and this infuriatingly calm tone only incensed him further. There was a very faint voice at the back of his head, which warned him to keep his mouth shut, but he ignored it as he often did these days. 

“You want to have me fired? Is that it? You know what – why don’t you just take my badge and my gun right now and get it over with? Let’s spare both of us the trouble.” 

He shouted at her, almost standing on her toes as he fumbled to untangle his badge and holster from his belt. It made her mad. Not the shouting, not his anger. That, she could understand. What had her lose her mantle of calm control was his resignation. It was so common in addicts. She had seen it in her own husband. It had been easier for him to just slink away into the night than to turn around and fight for his family. He had given up, because he wasn’t strong enough to change. 

In the back of her mind, Sharon wondered why she cared so much about Sergeant Flynn. There was nothing special about him, nothing that distinguished him from all the other alcoholics she’d been dealing with over the last two years. Yet, here she was, standing toe to toe with him, trying to – what? Get him to admit he had a problem? Bully him into getting help? What was it she was trying to accomplish? Whatever it was that drove her, it made her angry and she let him see that. 

“Of course, just give up. Why should you fight for your career, anyway? You didn’t fight for your family. Just throw in the towel before you even try to do something about it. Maybe you’re right; maybe you’re not worth the trouble, but I won’t let you throw away your career like this. What else do you have right now, huh? What is your big plan after getting fired? Want to buy a bar and spend the rest of your days drinking up all your profits? Is that it?” 

Her own voice had risen during her rant and she wondered briefly where the anger came from, when he suddenly took a step towards her and forced her back against the counter with his body. His lips pressed against hers, his tongue trailing along their soft lines urgently. She gasped in surprise and he took that opportunity to deepen the kiss, his hips grinding against hers, his hands buried in her hair. 

Arousal shot through her like a bolt of lightning and she melted into him for a few short seconds, her eyes drifting shut, her hands rising to grab his head. She was back in the tiny bathroom stall, where her entire universe was lust and strong muscles, intense kisses and his impossibly hard length. She felt it now, pressed against her belly and she thought about the feeling of it deep inside her. 

The sound of her own moan jolted her out of her thoughts and she gave his shoulders a hard push. He stumbled back a few steps and they both stared at each other, out of breath and flushed with anger and arousal. 

When she finally found her voice is was dangerously quiet, her eyes dark with suppressed indignation. 

“Are you desperate for a sexual harassment charge on top of everything else, Sergeant? Because if you are, you’re doing a really fine job.” 

Digging for her small notebook in the inside pocket of her blazer, all Sharon could find was a business card. She decided that it would do just as well and, taking her pen out, she wrote an address onto the back of the card and handed it to the pleasantly silent Sergeant. 

“This is the address of a church in your neighbourhood. There’s an AA meeting every Thursday at seven. I strongly suggest you go there today.” 

Her tone made clear that it wasn’t a suggestion. When his hands closed around the card, more out of reflex than an actual willingness to take it, she turned around to leave. Not being one to let someone else have the last word, Andy couldn’t help getting in one last shot. 

“You know, I liked you better when I didn’t know who you were.” 

Sharon snorted, but didn’t turn around as she mumbled her reply. 

“Yeah, so did I.” 

For a long moment, Andy stared at the door, even after it had closed behind the annoying little brunette spitfire. He hated her, mostly because she seemed to care and the scent of her perfume made the blood leave his head for other parts. He did go home as requested, but was determined to ignore her “suggestion” to check out the meeting. After spending the entire afternoon alternately staring at a bottle of bourbon and the card with the address of that church, he somehow ended up in front of the building anyway.

Taking a deep breath and cursing her for getting into his head, Andy followed the small crowd of people up the stairs.


	4. Firedance

**Time:** About two years after the events of chapter 3 or four years after the events of “Tears On Her Dark Face” **  
**

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

 

The hot water warmed her skin and muscles, loosening tight knots and melting away some of the unbearable tension in her shoulders. The unpleasant coldness in the pit of her stomach, however, did not disappear. Even the scalding peppermint tea didn’t help, and for a moment Sharon regretted choosing it over a glass of wine or two. Considering that the reason for her current misery was her addict husband, she had decided that trying to drown her problems in a bottle was not the way she went about her life. It was a slippery slope, as she had witnessed over the last six years. 

Sharon let her head fall back against the wall and closed her eyes. They had been married for twelve years already. It was hard to believe, but then again, he had been gone for four of those years. 

After tossing him out four years ago, Sharon had discovered that the drinking and cheating was her smallest problem. It had been the gambling that had almost ruined her family. A couple of weeks after he had returned home to find his packed suitcase on the front porch and the door locked and bolted, Sharon had fished several unpleasant letters out of the mailbox. 

The following two months they had spent without cable, telephone and hot water and Sharon had pulled as many additional shifts as humanly possible, and then some. It hadn’t been easy to dig them out of the mountain of debt her husband’s gambling addiction had amassed and she was still working on it, but they had survived. Her children always had a roof over their heads and food on their plates. She had filed for legal separation as soon as the money for a lawyer could be spared and she slept easier knowing that he wouldn’t be able to clean out her bank account again. 

And then, six months ago, he had returned, sober, with a good job in the city and full of promises. She had been reluctant to believe him at first, had let him spend a few evenings a week with the children, always keeping an eye on them to make sure they would be alright. Then she had been promoted to Lieutenant and they had all celebrated together – once again a family. She had wanted that normal life so much, mostly for her children, but also for herself. All his shortcomings aside, she still loved Jack and missed him desperately as did their children. The thought of giving their marriage another try had been too tempting and she had let him move in again four months ago. They were still legally separated and she had insisted on maintaining separate bank accounts, despite his assurances that the gambling wasn’t an issue anymore. 

Now she was endlessly grateful for standing her ground. This afternoon, she had finally sat him down to talk about his contribution to the upkeep of their family. She tried to make him understand that his children might love the presents he frequently brought home for them, but that those did not help get them fed and clothed or paid for the mortgage on the house they lived in.

Up until that day, she had tried subtle hints and sweet seduction, but neither had brought the desired result. She hadn’t wanted to be the nagging wife, but he had left her no other option. Making sure her children were out with friends for the night, Sharon had prepared to try a more direct approach, realising that it would probably result in a fight. Jack had never been particularly receptive to any of her suggestions, especially when they were inconvenient for him.

Of course she had been right about his reaction. He had stared at her while she had been talking, occasionally shaking his head. Once she had been done, he’d given her his special look – condescending and full of pity. He had made it all about her. She was the problem, she was the one who made this marriage impossible to maintain with her insanely high expectations, her constant nagging and her infuriating lack of trust. How was he supposed to make it work if she refused to let him in, to truly be a part of their lives again? He had called her cold-hearted and manipulative and many other unpleasant things, before he had told her that he was sick and tired of being turned into the bad guy all the time. It had taken him less than half an hour to pack all his things and vanish from their lives once again. 

As the door closed behind him with a bang, Sharon grabbed the vase with a beautiful bouquet of red roses off the kitchen table and hurled it against the wall. Shards of glass and rose petals scattered everywhere, as Sharon leaned against the fridge and slid down to the floor, hugging her knees close to her body and letting her head drop forward to rest on them. She didn’t cry. Instead, she began to shake uncontrollably, her entire being cold with anger, betrayal and loneliness. 

The shaking had stopped eventually, even as the coldness had seemed to have settled in her bones. Sharon had no idea how long she had stayed on the floor like that before getting up to run a bath in an attempt to warm up.

 

The doorbell drew her out of her musings and for a moment she considered ignoring it. The thought that it might be one of the kids made her change her mind, though. Ricky frequently forgot his keys and was currently going through one of those phases where he suddenly got desperately homesick. 

Climbing out of the tub, Sharon quickly pulled a bathrobe over her dripping body, hastily closing it while running down the stairs. Before she opened the door, she tightened the belt of her robe once more and made sure she was decently covered. Her thoughts lingered on the pools of water she left on the hardwood floor for a second, putting mopping the floor on her mental to-do list. 

When she opened the door, expecting to see her son and one of his best friend’s parents on her porch, surprise did not adequately describe her reaction at whom she found there instead. 

Sergeant Andy Flynn looked rumpled, unshaven, his tie askew and his hair messy. Whenever she had run into him in the last four years, he had always looked immaculate, not a hair out of place. Maybe she should find it odd that her mind lingered on his unusually messy looks when his presence in front of her door should have been a much more puzzling occurrence. 

He looked truly terrible, and it wasn’t just his outward appearance. His face drawn and his eyes dark with pain, he presented a picture of pure misery and Sharon almost gasped at the sight. Apparently, she wasn’t the only one having a rotten day and she swallowed any questions about why he was here and how he actually knew where she lived for the time being. Stepping aside, she gestured for him to come in and led him through to the living room. 

A tiny voice at the back of her head voiced its concern about his presence in her home and her easy acceptance of it, but she recognized the familiar feelings of anger, betrayal and loneliness in him and it bridged the gap between two not quite strangers. 

She motioned for him to sit on the couch, before she walked into the kitchen to prepare more tea. Hers was still sitting on the shelf above the bathtub and probably cold by now, anyway. Careful not to step into the broken glass that was still scattered on the kitchen floor, she put on the water. As she turned around, she found Andy leaning against the doorframe, his eyes riveted to the mess her earlier outburst had created. She should probably feel embarrassed to have someone witness the evidence of one of her less than stellar moments, but she was too exhausted to worry about that or the consequences it might have later on. 

As it was, he just raised a questioning eyebrow, no judgment evident in his expression. Her quiet tone belied the seemingly unconcerned shrug and the levity of her words as she replied to his unspoken question. 

“Bad day.” 

With that she turned back towards the boiling water and finished preparing their tea. Behind her, Andy’s snort told her he understood that it was somewhat of an understatement and that he could relate. 

Two steaming mugs in her hands, she led the way back into the living room and they both sat down on the large, comfortable leather couch. Sharon resisted the temptation to hug a pillow to herself to cover her discomfort of the situation. She did not want to appear as vulnerable as she felt. 

For a long while, they sat in companionable silence, both staring into their cups as if they held all the answers, until Sharon couldn’t stand the tension anymore. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Her voice was low and she looked at him from under her eyelashes. He seemed even more on edge than she felt, his thumb nervously flicking over the edge of the cup again and again, his entire body radiating tension. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have showed up here like that. This is… I really don’t know… There was no place else I could think of going.” 

He paused for a moment, obviously struggling for a way to explain. Sharon remained silent, giving him time to come up with the right words, even though she was getting increasingly more curious about his reasons for showing up at her front door. 

“I shouldn’t be here. I don’t want to impose on you and your family.”

Before he could move to get up, Sharon shook her head and spoke, putting some effort into appearing unconcerned.

“Don’t worry about it. The kids are out for the night.” She didn’t address her husband’s whereabouts and hoped he wouldn’t ask, but he didn’t seem to pick up on her unspoken plea. 

“Well yeah, but I guess Jack wouldn’t appreciate finding me here.”

He gave her a curious look at her snort before he looked at the steaming teacup once again. This time he seemed to read her unhappy expression and averted gaze correctly and accepted her assurance. Silence reigned between them for a long time, before he finally started to talk. 

“Nicole, my little girl, she had an accident with her bike earlier. She was with friends and their parents couldn’t reach my ex-wife so the hospital called me. By the time I got there, they had gotten a hold of Sarah and she was already there.” 

He drew a ragged breath, his eyes rising to meet hers. He looked so unbelievably lost in that moment and Sharon wanted to reach over and hug him, but they weren’t friends, it wouldn’t be appropriate. Lost as to how she could possibly comfort him, she felt her eyes fill with helpless tears. She had never been good at seeing other people hurt. 

When he continued, his voice was barely above a whisper, heavy with suppressed emotions. 

“She wouldn’t let me see my little girl. She was scared and hurt and my ex-wife wouldn’t let me go to her. I don’t even know what happened, how bad it was. I stayed in the waiting room for two hours, but no one would tell me anything.” 

His voice broke on the last word and he clenched the mug between his hands. Sharon’s gaze was drawn to the bruised knuckles of his right hand and, knowing his often-volatile temper, she could guess that there might be an inanimate object with a fist-sized dent in it in a waiting room somewhere in the city. She knew that he wouldn’t volunteer an explanation and she didn’t need one. 

“I went to a meeting afterwards and then another, but it didn’t help. I tried to reach my sponsor when I thought I couldn’t control it anymore, but he isn’t home and the guys… Well, you know what it’s like. They’re all over at the pub.”

She saw him struggle with his next words and his voice shook with emotion when he finally found them. 

“I went to some bar. Seedy little thing, where no one knew me. It was so bad, the need to drink. I could feel it burn down my throat, the warmth of it spreading in my stomach. I just wanted to forget. I sat there, staring at that bourbon and I wanted it so much. Just, every time I lifted the glass, I heard what you said to me back then, in the break room. You know, about giving it all up. 

“I didn’t know what else to do. I still had that business card you wrote the address of the church on and I… I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.” 

Sharon could understand Andy’s ex wife. If something like that were to happen to one of her own kids right now, she wasn’t sure if she could stand having her husband around, but it was so unbelievably unfair to both the children and their father. She saw the evidence of that sitting on her sofa, distraught beyond words and quite literally, almost driven to drink over it. 

As she studied the man in front of her, so much like her husband and yet, so different, she thought about that scared little girl, who probably wondered why her Daddy wasn’t there for her and it was all too easy to picture her own daughter in that situation. If one of her kids had an accident right now, they _would_ be in the same situation, only that _their_ father would not be anxiously pacing in the waiting room hoping for a chance to see them, of that she was certain. 

She felt tears run down her cheeks, tears she had refused to cry over her own hurt feelings, but was helpless to hold back now. Her hand rose to cover her mouth and she turned her face away from him to hide her loss of control. Next to her, she felt Andy shift and saw him place the teacup on the table. 

“I’m sorry, I should go. I shouldn’t have come here to bother you with my problems. I don’t know what …”

Sharon turned towards him, placing a hand on his arm to keep him from getting up. 

“Don’t go.” She couldn’t say any more than that as she met his gaze and thought she’d drown in its depth. His hand rose to her cheek, a gentle thumb brushing away her tears as they stared at each other for a long time.

When their lips finally touched, she didn’t know who had initiated the contact, but the first tentative kiss quickly turned into a heated battle of teeth and tongues, their frustration, anger, sorrow and desperation providing endless fuel. 

It was hard and fast, the ever-present, softly glowing embers of barely suppressed sexual tension born out of a shared moment of poor judgment and professional animosity transforming into an out-of-control wildfire of passion. 

They both burned with it as mouths devoured each other before they went on to explore, nipping and tasting, leaving their marks on tender skin. 

Following his insistent pull, Sharon slid one of her legs over his to straddle him. She felt his hands against her, one buried in her hair, the other on her back, clutching the thick material of her robe. Her own fingers were busy tugging his white t-shirt out of his pants to gain access to the hot, smooth skin of his back. 

When she pushed his leather jacket off his shoulders and then proceeded to rid him of his shirt, he raised his arms to assist her. As she tossed his shirt aside, his hands came to rest against her cheeks, drawing her into another heated kiss, their tongues tangling, sliding against each other. 

The need for oxygen made them pull away and his lips travelled along her jaw, his tongue tracing the shell of her left ear, drawing her earlobe into his mouth. Sharon moaned at the fire that spread through her veins, her head tilting to the side to give him better access. 

Andy thoroughly explored her neck, as his hands fumbled with her belt. When his urgent touch landed on the bare skin of her stomach and wandered up her sides, she though she would melt. Another deep moan was drawn from her throat and she threw her head back, making him trail hot, wet kisses down her throat and across her chest. His thumbs brushed over her nipples, sending shivers down her spine and heat pooling in her belly. 

She shamelessly ground her throbbing centre against the coarse material of his jeans, her hands sliding down his chest. With one of his arms around her back for support, she leaned back to open his belt and pants. Her eyes shut in bliss as his mouth closed around one of her nipples, the other one being rolled between two of his fingers. She let him distract her for a short moment, but the urge to see him naked, to feel him inside her, was too strong. 

Sharon slid off his lap and knelt on the floor in front of him, tugging at his pants. He lifted his hips to help her slide them off and groaned when she let her hands travel up his legs again, lingering on his thighs. Her lips and tongue teased the soft skin at the inside of his right knee, trailing wet kisses all the way up to her ultimate goal. 

Her lips closing around his hard length drew a groan from him and he buried his hands in her hair, his hips bucking involuntarily. Sharon placed one hand on his stomach in an attempt to hold him down, while the other gently cradled his balls. She felt them tighten slightly just before Andy grabbed the collar of her robe with both hands and drew her up onto his lap. He caressed her neck and cheeks with gentle fingers, before he let them trail along her shoulders, pushing the robe to the floor. 

His touch was rough on her back, stroking up and down her spine and it sent a shiver through her. As she ground against him, he twitched underneath her. The sensation of his solid flesh sliding through her sodden folds intensified her arousal even more and she wasn’t willing to wait another second.

Bracing one hand on his shoulder, Sharon rose slightly, her other hand guiding him inside her. As she sank down, Sharon let her eyes close, relishing the sensation of stretching walls, being filled completely. Neither of them was willing to waste any time on adjusting to the new situation; they were burning with the need for completion. Sharon immediately set a fast pace, grinding against him, her hips rotating to get the best possible angle. Andy met her thrust for frantic thrust, his hands having a firm, almost bruising hold on her hips. 

Keeping her eyes closed, Sharon focused on the slide of skin on wet skin, the feeling of his strong muscles rippling under her hands and the fire burning in her veins. She felt him tense, fighting hard for control. The muscles in her thighs started to burn with exhaustion, as she increased her pace once again, trying to find the friction she needed, rubbing her clit against his pubic hair. She felt the lick of the flames touching her, but it wasn’t quite enough to start the final inferno. 

As Andy’s grip got even firmer, his features screaming of his slipping control, she grunted in frustration, that final spark eluding her. The day had been too hard on her, leaving her wound too tightly to let go now. 

Suddenly, she was pushed off him and flipped to the side, landing on the sofa on her back with hands insistently pushing her legs apart and an eager mouth descending onto her aching centre. His tongue lapped at her swollen lips, dipping into her depth before sucking and nipping at her clit. He let two fingers slide through her curl, then shoved them into her, eliciting a hoarse cry from her. It was unbelievably good. He hit all the right spots, found the perfect pressure, but it was too much, too intimate. Sharon did not want emotions; she needed the physical release without any complications, as she was sure he did. 

Andy got the message when she gave his hair a hard pull, wrapping her legs around his middle as soon as he had climbed over her. 

Suddenly, the room spun around her right before her knees hit something hard and the solid mass underneath her grunted in discomfort. Somehow they had tumbled off the couch. Andy only took a second to get his breath back, before he rolled them over and plunged into her once more, pounding her hard and fast, just the way she needed it, building them both up towards the edge. 

Andy studied her face closely, searching for a sign of imminent release. He was approaching the limits of his control again fast, but he would not go over without her. A frown marred her forehead and she flinched with every thrust he made. For a brief moment he thought he hit too deep, but as his knees started to chafe from the carpet, he realised what the problem was. Stopping his motions, he drew a sad little moan from her as he slid out of her. Climbing to his feet, he held out his hand to help her up.

Despite her obvious frustration, she took it and then followed his lead as he guided her over to one of the heavy armchairs, bending her over the backrest.

Before she could utter any protests, he entered her from behind, both arms sliding around her. Sharon threw her head back, letting it rest against his shoulder as he cupped a breast with one hand, rolling a puckered nipple between thumb and forefinger. The other drew tight circles around her clit, his face buried in her thick hair, which was coming out of her clip. 

A loud groan escaped her throat as he hit the perfect place with the perfect force, his fingers delivering the additional stimulation that was necessary. Sharon usually wasn’t a fan of this position, because it lacked intimacy and felt more like a male power trip than anything else. But, at that moment, it was exactly what she needed. Arching her back, she pushed her ass into him, meeting his powerful thrusts, feeling the inferno start anew. This time, Sharon knew she would be consumed. She was more than ready and for a few blissful moments, her worries and her heartache retreated to a far corner of her mind. 

Andy knew the exact moment she let go of what was holding her back. The tension left her slight form and she melted into his body, giving herself over to him completely. He was humbled by her trust, but it was only a fleeting thought, as his focus shifted towards the ever-increasing heat between them. Just as he helped her to forget for a while, she distracted him from his own problems. Andy reveled in the softness of her skin against his, the sweet, flowery scent at the nape of her neck – her bath oils and something distinctly Sharon – her hot, slick walls holding him in their firm grip, and the incredibly sexy sounds she made – low hums, soft whimpers and the occasional grunt. He could feel his release approaching, even more powerful now than it had been earlier. This time though, she was ready to take that final leap with him. 

He thrust into her welcoming depth harder and faster, his hand increasing the pressure on her clit as the other kneaded her breast roughly. He was probably hurting her, but she didn’t complain. Sharon’s soft whimpers turned into desperate cries and loud groans, sweat making the skin of her back slide against his chest, her sweet neck tasting salty as he sank his teeth into her flesh, soothing the pain with gentle licks before he bit down again. 

Suddenly, he felt her stiffen in his arms, her head falling forward, only to hit his shoulder hard as she threw it back again, her eyes closed and her mouth opened. A long, deep moan left her throat on a breath, much louder than he would ever have thought her capable of. Her muscles clenched around his length, the added pressure all he needed to trigger his own orgasm. Pleasure shot up his spine and down his legs like liquid fire, burning along his nerves and through his veins. For a few seconds his entire existence was limited to this – her and him, their sweat-soaked bodies, wildly beating hearts and burning lungs, the fire blazing through them, slowly dying with every breath they took. 

The bright spots finally stopped dancing in front of her eyes, but Sharon couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes just yet. In the darkness behind her closed lids she could pretend for a moment longer, bask in the tingling of those tiny aftershocks that washed over her with every twitch of his body. She felt him soften inside her, but he still held her close, his solid form like a warm blanket. One hand still cupped her mound, his fingers gently gliding through her curls, soothing instead of stimulating now, but it still sent shudders through her. 

Reality intruded on their quiet moment, bursting their dreamy little bubble, as he slipped out of her. She slowly became aware of the small aches and pains, evidence of their loss of control. As Sharon started to shift underneath him, Andy released his hold on her, his hands brushing along her sides in a gentle caress before he stepped back. Taking a few deep breaths, Sharon finally found the courage to turn around, her eyes briefly flicking up to meet his before she averted them again. 

She distinctly remembered the last time they were in this situation. Back then, she hadn’t known his name and they had both been drunk and mostly clothed in the restroom of some unknown bar. This was even more awkward, because she knew him and was sure that they would run into each other again. He was in her home and she was supposed to help him through a tough night, but all she could think about now was how to get out of this situation. What was the proper protocol for situations like this? 

Sharon gave Andy a tight smilebefore she excused herself for a moment to clean up in the guest bathroom, her robe already firmly wrapped around her once again. When she came back, Andy sat on her couch tying his shoes, obviously ready to leave. She felt incredibly bad about the intense feeling of relief that washed over her at the thought. It would definitely put an end to the uncomfortable tension between them, but he had come to her for help, for a safe place to stay until the overwhelming need to drink had passed. She couldn’t just let him go. 

“You can stay the night, if you want. There’s a guest room.” Her voice was soft and sounded uncertain to her own ears. As he finished with his shoes, he looked up at her, uncertainty and awkwardness in his gaze and an unimaginable sadness that clouded his eyes and made her heart feel even heavier. 

He rose to his feet and took a few steps towards her, gazing at the floor between them. 

“Thank you, Sharon, but I think I should go.” 

His hand reached out to touch her cheek, but he stopped in mid-way, letting it drop to his side once more as he looked into her eyes briefly. 

“If you’re sure. Please don’t leave if you…“ 

He didn’t let her finish, his voice barely audible as he replied to her unvoiced concern. 

“I’ll be okay. I think I can go home now.” 

Andy stepped past her towards the door and she followed him, studying his broad shoulders and the tousled mass of black hair. He turned towards her in the open door and this time he allowed himself to place a gentle hand against her arm. 

“Thank you for listening. I didn’t mean to…” He looked away for a moment, his eyes closing as he took a deep breath. 

“Thank you, Sharon.” 

With that, he turned around and walked away. Sharon followed him with her eyes as he made his way down her driveway towards his car, only going back inside when his car pulled away from the curb. 

She shut and locked the door and leaned her back against it, eyes closed and her mind in turmoil. She was grateful for the solitude, but at the same time, she hadn’t wanted him to leave. The silence of her house, which she had desired so much a moment ago, felt oppressive now. 

Since the very beginning, her relationship with the handsome hothead from Robbery-Homicide had been full of contradicting emotions and it seemed they were destined to be caught in an endless circle of professional disagreements and these moments of reckless passion. It was exhilarating and infuriating at the same time – just like Andy Flynn himself. 

Pushing away from the door, Sharon decided to take a quick shower and go to bed before the post-coital languor wore off and her mind returned to its previous, overactive state and kept her awake all night.


	5. Hello Darkness, My Old Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter deals with the loss of an unborn child. If you have issues with this subject, please skip this chapter. It is not essential for understanding the rest of the story. You can skip to the end of the chapter for the information you need for the next chapters.

**Time:** About fourteen years after the events of Chapter Four, right after The Closer 5x15 “Dead Man’s Hand”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

 For fourteen years this had been her day for what ifs, the day she took a couple of hours away from work and family, from ringing phones and car pooling to indulge in old regrets and familiar grief. As was her habit, she started with emptying her mind of her present worries to make room for the quiet despair she new would follow. 

Today, that proved to be harder than usual. She’d had a tough week full of disappointments and hurt. Ally Moore had used her to get away with killing her husband and it had taken Deputy Chief Johnson and her team to find that out. Sharon had believed the young woman, had bought her act of abused wife. She had been outraged at the thought of one of her own detectives being beaten up at home. Sharon and her team had a special bond born out of the intense dislike they had to face from the rest of the LAPD. She would not stand idly by when one of her officers was mistreated. Ally had known that, had known about Sharon’s abhorrence of violence against women and domestic abuse and she had used that against her. 

Sharon wasn’t angry, not anymore. All she felt now was betrayal and sadness and, if she was honest with herself, embarrassment at having believed Ally and having treated Chief Johnson and her team so unfairly as a result. Her protectiveness towards Ally had cost Sharon her objectivity and professionalism, something she usually didn’t allow to happen. That it had happened in front of Major Crimes only added to her mortification. 

They were already especially hard to deal with on a good day, when Sharon felt in her element and in control of the situation. This case had flung her far out of her comfort zone, leaving her adrift and helpless. Between the Deputy Chief, the practically gloating Flynn and Provenza and the silent dislike of the other three men Sharon had felt like running or screaming after the first day. Instead she had fought, had shown them where she got her reputation. 

In the end, she had apologised to the other woman for being unnecessarily bitchy. They had agreed on mutual dislike and parted ways on somewhat neutral terms. Her professional life would be so much easier if they could just get along with each other. In many aspects of their personalities they were too similar, though. Both were strong and independent, having fought hard to make their way in a world that was dominated by men. They were both set in their ways, stubborn, used to get what they wanted professionally and known to get cranky if they didn’t. They would surely butt heads again in the future. 

Sharon let her gaze wander over the familiar landscape. The sun was low in the sky and bathed the trees and hills in a divine light. She loved the view and the tranquility this particular spot of Elysian Park provided in the evenings. Every now and then a car would pass, but she had never seen anyone else stop to watch the sun dip into the faraway sea. 

Sharon enjoyed the few moments of silence inside her head. She had put the thoughts of the last few days away, but hadn’t yet allowed the gates to the past to open. It was the calm before the storm and she required it to gather much needed strength or she would get lost in the darkness of her memories like she had fourteen years ago. The familiar pain slowly spread from her heart through her entire body. She welcomed it like a bothersome relative, knowing that the sooner she let it in, the sooner she would be rid of it again. 

The remaining sunlight did little to dissolve the lump of ice, which was making itself at home in her stomach, gradually moving up to choke her. With one last deep breath, Sharon allowed the last walls to fall, closing her eyes against the first sting of tears. 

Once again, she felt the paralyzing fear of that night so many years ago, the sudden, sharp pain, the dizziness and nausea and the terrifying realisation that she was bleeding heavily. Sharon had been on her way home, walking through the dimly lit parking garage when it happened. The pain hit her hard, almost knocking her off her feet and she wasn’t sure what she would’ve done if that obnoxious little shit of a lawyer hadn’t come by. 

They had only parted ways twenty minutes earlier after he had tried to drive her crazy with something his boss, the city attorney, thought important enough that it needed to be discussed at 6 pm on a Friday. She had been glad that her kids were at their respective friends’ for sleepovers and that they wouldn’t have to wait for their dinner until she’d finally make it home. 

She had been tired all day, her back aching more than usual and she had felt the occasional twinge in her abdomen. They had increased in frequency and intensity towards the end of the day, letting Sharon know that it was way past time to go home and rest. As she hadn’t informed anyone about her pregnancy yet, she couldn’t very well expect them to be considerate of her needs, though, so she kept quiet and tried to stay off her feet as much as possible. 

On her way to her car Sharon had decided that it was time to report her condition to her superiors regardless of the fact that she wasn’t quite ready for that yet. She wasn’t 25 anymore and working somewhat insane hours through a pregnancy simply wasn’t feasible. Besides, it wouldn’t be possible to hide the visible evidence for much longer. 

In the end, she didn’t have to report anything. It had all ended that night after 10 weeks and only three weeks after she had finally come up with the courage to find out for sure. _It happened_ , they said. _Much more common than one would think, especially at her age. Lucky she had been brought to the ER immediately or the blood loss might have become a more serious problem_. Somehow those words hadn’t been very comforting. Neither back then as she lay in a busy ER waiting for the contents of an IV bag to slowly drip into her veins, nor now, fourteen years later. 

That obnoxious lawyer had sat with her all through the night, refusing to leave once he had found out that there was no one else to do it. She had been endlessly annoyed initially, had wanted to be alone with her despair. Gavin Baker had already cost her the last nerve at work with his sarcasm and his superior attitude. She hadn’t needed more of that.

He had surprised her, though. Once he put aside his professional persona, he was a remarkably warm and sweet man and even though Sharon had had a hard time accepting it, his presence had been a godsend. He hadn’t talked much, just sat with her, holding one of her cold hands between his, handing her the water glass whenever she got thirsty. He had simply been there without asking anything of her, without forcing conversation on her or expecting any kind of reaction from her. It had been exactly what she had needed – a silent presence, grounding her when she thought she would float away on an ocean of darkness. 

Sharon hadn’t cried that night. She had been numb, sitting in her own little bubble while the storm raged outside. Nothing had felt real. She had barely had a chance to come to terms with the knowledge that she was expecting a child, not to mention figure out how to deal with the fact that she couldn’t be absolutely which of two men could be the father. And suddenly it had all been over, like a dream, only the pain had stayed with her after waking up.

The tears had come much later, after weeks of denying herself into a depression. It had been a long and hard journey back towards herself, but she had recovered eventually, had learned to accept her loss and move on. After digging herself out of that dark place, she had vowed to never let herself go there again. Throughout all this, one man had been a constant in her life. That obnoxious lawyer had turned into a wonderful, supportive and understanding friend, who seemed to always know what she needed. 

It was Gavin, who had started this tradition. The year after that horrible night, he had picked her up after work and brought her here, to this place of calm and serenity. They hadn’t spoken a word, just sat on the hood of his car and stared out over the trees into the distance as the sun went down. 

There was no grave to visit, no official place to commemorate that person she had never had a chance to meet. Instead, Sharon had come here every year. This spot was her special place, the one location she allowed herself to remember and to cry. It was an unremarkable patch of dirt at the side of an equally unremarkable road and most people just passed by without even noticing it. They never slowed down to see the light change, going through the different shades of orange, purple and blue until all that remained was the pale moon and the artificial light from streetlamps, cars and homes. They never paid any attention to the car, which was parked by the side of the road or the lone woman, who sat on its hood, tears streaming down her cheeks, a single flower clutched in her hands.

 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

 Andy was dreadfully tired. The last few days had been hell. Their case had been annoying from the start – just a little favour for a fellow officer. Only, that officer had been no other than Darth Raydor and the little favour had turned into something a bit more complex. Because of Raydor’s involvement, everyone had been irritable - especially the Chief - and the mood in the murder room had constantly switched from tense to volatile and back.

In an attempt to relief some of the tension, Andy had painted a witch onto the board and thus created a new nickname for the FID captain. It had been unintentional, but he rather liked it and maybe it would even replace Provenza’s favourite nickname for her. The Wicked Witch was far better than Nurse Ratchet. Andy had always thought that one a little too mean. Sharon Raydor sure was somewhat obsessed with the rules and she could be annoying as hell, but she was not really cruel or unfair – apart from that one time she had sent him to one of those endless sensitivity seminars. 

Despite his exhaustion, Andy was content. Their case was closed, Captain Raydor had wandered back to her own floor, and the murder room was their own again. In addition to that, he had just made it to the stadium on time to meet his contact and buy those skybox tickets he wanted to give Provenza for his birthday. 

As he often did on the way home from the stadium, Andy decided to drive through Elysian Park. It was far from the direct route, but he liked the quiet roads and the beautiful landscape, especially this close to sunset. Whenever he had the time, he liked to drive along the smaller streets, which went further up into the hills. That was just what he needed to end this day. 

The Crown Vic by the side of the road made Andy slow down. The decision to pull up behind it was an unconscious one, being made upon seeing the familiar figure sitting on its hood, arms wrapped around her body and misery flowing off her in heavy waves. He had no idea what compelled him to get out of his car and walk over to her, to lean against the car beside her. She did not look particularly happy to see him. If at all possible, she withdrew even further into herself, her voice and eyes hard and cold as ice as she faced him. 

“What are you doing here?” 

That was a very good question; one he didn’t have an answer to. He didn’t look at her as he tried to come up with something to say. Many things came to mind; none of them seemed appropriate, though. He studied her out of the corner of his eye. Tears were running down her cheeks as she stared into the distance again and her reddened eyes and ruined makeup told him that she must have been here like this for a while. 

Andy couldn’t remember ever seeing anyone look so dignified and graceful while falling apart, but he should have known that Sharon Raydor wasn’t the kind of person who broke in a loud and dramatic way. She also wasn’t the kind of person, who appreciated having anyone witness her quiet breakdown and her body language made that abundantly clear. 

He decided to ignore that fact. It might have been arrogance that had him convinced his presence was needed, or maybe it was acknowledgement that he suddenly had a chance to repay her for those times she had been there for him when no one else was. Regardless of the reason, he couldn’t bring himself to leave. His voice was quiet and deep, his tone lighter than the mood might call for as he finally replied to her question. 

“You looked like you could use an extra pair of shoulders to unload onto.” 

Her derisive snort was followed by a reply that practically dripped with resentment. 

“You are the last person I want to talk to right now, Lieutenant. What is it you really want? Are you looking for some good gossip to spread at work? I bet you could dine out on this for weeks; the guy, who saw the Wicked Witch cry. You’d be everybody’s hero.”

Her words stung, but he couldn’t blame her. It suddenly dawned on him that she must have overheard their grouching and name-calling. For some reason it had never occurred to him that she might be hurt by the open antagonism towards her, which was thoughtless and stupid. Suddenly, the enjoyment of his newly invented nickname turned into embarrassment and shame. 

The moment the words had left her mouth, Sharon felt bad for having uttered them. She knew she was being unfair, was just trying to push him away to protect herself. She wanted to be alone, being desperately uncomfortable with anyone witnessing this rare moment of weakness. Besides, Andy’s presence only served as an additional reminder of her loss, considering the fact that he was quite possibly a lot more involved in it than he was aware of. 

It wasn’t about name calling at all. That didn’t bother her and she shouldn’t have bitten Flynn’s head off like that. She sensed his discomfort in the way he moved his weight from foot to foot, his eyes on the ground in front of them. 

She heard his deep sigh and felt him shift some more, before his shoulder gently brushed against hers. 

“I’m sorry, Sharon. I was too busy being an asshole to think about the effect it would have on you. I never meant to hurt your feelings with my stupid doodle. It was unfair and uncalled for.” 

This she hadn’t expected. She knew that underneath all his anger and sarcasm, Andy Flynn was a decent man, but she had never thought he’d actually apologise for something as irrelevant as a little doodle – one she had actually found rather amusing, if she were honest.

For a long moment, they sat in silence, their eyes following the path of the sun as it moved towards the horizon. His apology and subsequent nervousness was somewhat disarming and Sharon didn’t know how to react. Her anger vanished as fast as it had appeared, leaving her feeling cold and exposed. His presence had pulled her mind away from her dark memories for a while, but they were still lurking in the back of her mind, a heavy weight on her soul she couldn’t shake off just yet. 

Releasing her arms from the firm hold they had around her chest, Sharon let her hands fall into her lap, twirling a single purple daisy between her fingers. 

“Thank you, Andy. I’m not upset about that, though.” 

It was all she could say for the moment as her eyes finally landed on the small, white stone a few feet in front of them. The cold fist of grief closed around her throat once again and fresh tears started to trickle down her cheeks. The stone was almost hidden beneath a bush and wouldn’t be much different from all the other stones if it weren’t for the small cross and heart engraved on its surface. 

It had been a gift from Gavin on the fifth anniversary. He had simply turned up at Parker Center during her lunch break, told her to join him in the parking garage and handed her a box with the instruction not to open it until sunset. Then he had hugged her before taking off once again. 

The gentle touch of warm fingers against her cold ones startled her. It was just a fleeting contact, a soft brush of skin on skin, gone before she had a chance to feel uncomfortable at the intimacy of it. Sharon briefly looked into warm brown eyes, then let her gaze return to the stone once more. 

“You want to talk about it?” 

His eyes were fixed on the flower she held between her fingers and his tone was as gentle as his touch. She didn’t think she could. The thought of forcing words through her constricted throat was inconceivable. Out of some subconscious impulse, Sharon leaned a little closer to him. Their arms didn’t quite touch, but they were close enough for the warmth of his skin to seep through the material of her top. 

When the words tumbled out of her mouth, her voice raw and broken, they came as a surprise to both of them. 

“I lost a child fourteen years ago. I had only found out I was pregnant a few weeks before.” 

Her voice crumbled under the pressure of her tears and silence once again lingered heavily between them. After a long moment, she felt Andy suddenly tense next to her and she looked at him from under her lowered lashes, dreading what she might see. 

His eyes were wide and his mouth hung open as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. When he did, he sounded choked, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides. 

“Was it –“ He couldn’t finish his question, but it rang loud and clear between his grief-stricken face, his twitching jaw muscles and the tension in his shoulders. 

_Was it ours?_

It was a question Sharon had asked herself countless times over the years. She had somehow hoped that he wouldn’t make the connection, but apparently she had underestimated him. 

“I don’t know.” 

Her whispered answer had been the same every time, evoking the same painful feeling of guilt and regret now as it had fourteen years ago. 

Before she gazed into the last orange rays of the setting sun again, she caught sight of the distant look in his dark orbs and felt a burn in her own eyes.

They didn’t speak again, both silently watching the final change of the light from orange over purple to dark blue, their joint grief and regrets covering them like a heavy cloak.

Once the first stars appeared in the sky, Sharon slid off the hood of her car and, after hesitating for a moment, let her fingers brush down Andy’s arm, clasping his hand in a firm grip. He followed her slight tug, and together they walked the few feet to the small stone and knelt in front of it. 

Andy traced the engraving with his fingertips and watched as she placed the daisy on the smooth surface. Sharon let her hand rest on the cold stone for a while, the other one still firmly holding his. 

When they finally stood, she felt him drop her hand as he took hold of her shoulders to move her in front of him. The warmth of his solid body behind her and his strong arms holding her close were comforting and grounding, yet she felt fresh tears stream down her face as she looked at the night sky. 

As he rested his equally wet cheek against hers, Sharon welcomed the knowledge that she was no longer alone in her grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn’t read this chapter, here is what you’ll need to know:
> 
> After their one night stand years ago, Sharon found out she was pregnant, but she lost the child. She doesn’t know if it was Jack’s or Andy’s baby. Sharon and Andy bond over the shared loss (potential loss in Andy’s case) 14 years later.


	6. Someone To Watch Over Me

**Time:** Set right after The Closer 6x11 “Old Money” **  
**

 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

 Sharon stared at the small bungalow through the windshield of her car. Her hand had lingered on the door handle for a long time, before she finally found the courage to get out of the car and walk up the driveway. She passed the sad-looking scrub she’d studied from her vehicle. She had spent entirely too much time wondering how long the poor thing had struggled before it had given up the fight and died. It was so much easier to think about the tragic fate of a plant in Andrew Flynn’s yard than the fact that the man himself had almost met the same destiny.

That was the reason why she was standing in front of his door at ten in the evening, heart beating wildly and palms sweaty. A heavy lump of dread and worry had been lodged firmly in her stomach ever since she had picked up her phone three nights ago to hear his strained, out-of-breath voice. 

He had been uncharacteristically calm on the phone, as he had reported discharging his weapon. When she had taken his statement later, after a mad dash through evening traffic, his agitation had finally caught up with him. His familiar temper had somewhat calmed her concerns until he had collapsed in her arms. 

Sharon had practically stopped breathing until the moment she encountered his pain-clouded gaze where he lay in the hospital bed surrounded by his team. As her lungs expanded suddenly, relief almost painful inside her chest, she had briefly wondered what had caused this intense worry and the almost giddy feeling of relaxation upon seeing him awake and reasonably well. 

They weren’t lovers or friends or even on particularly friendly terms with each other. There was absolutely nothing that bound them together. And yet, there was. It was unacknowledged and pointedly ignored, but there was an inexplicable connection between them that went deeper than mere friendship or sex or love or whatever else might bind people to one another. They were linked through reluctant thoughts about what might have been and shared grief over the loss of a life and the possibility of a different reality.

Still, they ended up yelling at each other. More to the point, he did the yelling; Sharon resorted to biting sarcasm and quiet anger when it became clear that he wouldn’t understand that she was just doing her job. Usually, it didn’t bother her when fellow officers treated her like a deadly enemy, her sole purpose to sneak up on them and stab them in the back. She had been doing this job long enough to get used to it, to learn to appreciate the power that lay in not caring about their opinion of her because she did her job well and in the end, she’d saved more officers than she harmed.

With Andrew Flynn it was different. For some reason Sharon expected him to know her better than that, to not expect the worst whenever she showed up. The realisation that he was just like all the others in that regard hurt, which in turn made her angry. She didn’t want to care. Caring was complicated and painful. 

Still, Sharon found herself ringing his doorbell, not sure if she wanted him to be home or would prefer her ringing to go unanswered. And she had no plan about what do in either case. 

Her ruminations were interrupted when the door opened and her eyes landed on his rumpled form. His hair stuck out in every direction as if he had run his hand thought it repeatedly, the grey sweatpants hung low on his hips and the faded blue Police Academy t-shirt had definitely seen better days. She studied him for a long moment, face drawn, jaw clenched and eyes dulled by pain. The need to hold him close, stoke his hair and rub his temples to alleviate the discomfort came unexpectedly. It was something she did for her children whenever they were sick or hurt and to feel this kind of tenderness towards Andy was surprising and disconcerting. 

It took him a while to process what he saw, confusion evident on his face. When it finally hit home, the change in his demeanour was palpable. His eyes narrowed, darkening with anger and the tension in his shoulders almost painfully obvious. 

“What the hell are you doing here, Captain?” 

Her rank was added almost as an afterthought, probably to maintain at least the pretense of respect. Sharon just stood and stared at him for what seemed like a very long time, words having deserted her at his blatant show of dislike. She felt her ire rise slowly but surely. It was mostly directed at herself because, seriously, what had she been thinking?

Before she could find her voice, Andy continued his tirade, obviously getting angrier by the minute as he seemed to assume the worst reasons for her visit to his home. 

“Has someone else claimed I threatened them into making false statements? Anyone say I beat them up or tripped them or bribed them or whatever else they tell you? You know what? Don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know. Come back when you’ve finally got enough to take my badge and gun.” 

He was about to close the door in her face, but Sharon was not going to let him have the last word. It simply wasn’t in her nature. Taking a step towards the door, she held out a hand to stop it from closing, her face burning with red-hot anger. 

“Yes, you go with that assumption. If it makes you feel good to always think the worst of people, don’t let me stop you. I don’t know what I was thinking, anyway. I had this crazy idea that a little concern would be appreciated, but I see now that I was wrong. I apologise for the inconvenience, _Lieutenant_.” 

Her use of his rank was just as derisive as his had been earlier, a convenient shield against emotions she wasn’t prepared to face – emotions that seemed to be firmly lodged in her throat, making it hard to breathe. Her eyes burned with angry tears and Sharon turned around to leave before he saw them. 

Her sarcastic tone made anger wash through his veins like liquid fire and he felt his face flush with it. He was ready to go with it, to throw a biting comeback at her retreating form, but something held him back. There had been a flash of something in her gaze before she had turned away. He would call it vulnerability, but that word somehow didn’t equate with the woman in front of him. 

Whatever it was, it suddenly made him feel like an asshole and it irritated him only further. She had no business coming to his home and make him feel like that, he reasoned. He quickly closed the distance she had put between them by grabbing her arm and pulling her around to face him. 

“Don’t you dare run away now. You could at least have the courtesy to answer my question.” 

As he studied her in the dim glow of his porch light, green eyes blazing with fury, yet a little too bright, something heavy settled in his chest and it wasn’t anger. He narrowed his eyes at her, trying to make sense of this, of her, of them. 

Sharon held his gaze for a moment, before her shoulders slumped in resignation and her eyes shifted to the floor beneath their feet, her voice sounding tired and devoid of the previous sarcasm and anger. She didn’t even resist the hand he’d grabbed her with. 

“Is it so hard to believe that I was just worried about you and wanted to see if you were okay?” she asked plainly. 

Sometimes communication between Andy’s brain and mouth didn’t work as well as it should for a man his age. It had gotten him into trouble more times than he cared to remember. He almost always realised immediately when it happened and it wasn’t any different when he felt the vile words tumble out of his mouth this time.

“Actually, it is. First you pretend to be all nice and helpful, then you spend two days questioning my integrity, accusing me of all sorts of outrageous things and dangling my file in front of my superior, only to show up at my door with this show of concern. Excuse me for having trouble following.” 

Andy didn’t miss the look of hurt that rushed over her face before the mask of quiet resentment slid firmly into place once more, eyes narrowed and lips pursed in displeasure. 

“Right. Because you’re nothing but another mark, another notch on my file cabinet of poor, defenseless, innocent officers I’ve managed to screw over because I really have nothing better to do. Yes, you’ve got me. Rubbing it in is only part of the fun. Makes it so much better the next time I try to ruin your good name by investigating the accusations filed by _someone else_. You know, just forget it. I really am terribly sorry for bothering you. It’s certainly not going to happen again.” 

Her voice had risen to an uncharacteristically high and for a second Andy had to fight the impulse to take a step back. She tried to pull her arm free of his grip, but Andy, experiencing one of those moments when his brain was seriously lagging behind his actions, not only didn’t let her go but pulled her close, pressed his body against hers and placed his lips right over her mouth without a single care about such a curious reaction to her hostility. 

Rightfully, Sharon was stiff as a board in his arms, her hands rising to his shoulders, aiming to push him away. But in a curious reaction of her own, she quickly found herself instead giving in to his mouth on hers. Her body melted into his and her lips started to move with his, parting when his tongue slid over them.

Andy began to maneuver them back inside, unwilling to provide a free show for his neighbours. They stumbled into the doorframe, both groaning slightly at the increased pressure of chest against breast, hip against belly. Forgetting their original purpose for a heated little while, they stopped in the doorway and let their tongues enter in a frantic duel, sliding, stroking, tasting, exploring all those hidden places they had almost forgotten about. 

Sharon let her hands slide into his hair, holding him to her, devouring him, while his stroke down her back, grabbed her firm ass. She felt him through the material of their clothes, hot and hard, digging into her middle. Grinding her pelvis into him, Sharon moaned into their kiss. 

It was hard and fast and messy, hands groping, teeth nipping, tongues tangling. They poured their pent-up fear and anger into the exchange, not caring about bruises or red marks, sparing no thought for finesse or tenderness. Theirs had never been that kind of relationship. And yet now, they both felt something come undone. That tightly coiled entity that had been sitting inside them for the last few days uncoiled itself and left them both reeling from the resulting freedom to breathe, only to be rendered breathless for an entirely different reason.

Somehow they made it inside his house, her back hitting the wall as she heard the slam of the door. His hands started to unbutton her blouse, but halfway down he grew impatient with his fumbling fingers. Buttons flew in all directions, tumbling to the floor with a series of sad little clicks that went completely ignored. She should be angry with him for destroying one of her favourite blouses, but he made it impossible to think, his fiery touch on her skin, firm hands cupping her breasts through the silk of her bra. She moaned as he kissed a blazing trail down her throat and along the edge of her bra, dragging the fabric out of the way with his teeth to latch onto a puckered nipple.

A strong thigh moved between her legs, pushing her skirt up. Her head fell back against the wall at the exquisite feeling of pressure against her heated core and she ground against him urgently. He let his hands stroke along her bare thighs, curling one leg around him before he hoisted her up to align her burning centre with his twitching length. 

She barely had a chance to process the breathtaking feeling of him against her before a decidedly unpassionate groan filled the small hallway and she was released unceremoniously from the wall and allowed to slide to the floor.

Instantly drawn out of the haze of arousal by the separation, Sharon immediately cupped his cheeks with both hands, trying to make him look at her. Andy had one arm pressed against his body; the other was braced against the wall behind her in an attempt to stay upright. He was deadly pale, his eyes closed and his jaw twitching with tension. 

They had both completely forgotten about his injuries and Sharon cursed herself for that. She had dropped by to see if he was doing okay, not to make things worse for him. 

“Andy, look at me. Don’t you dare pass out!” Her voice slipped into Captain’s mode effortlessly and it seemed to serve its purpose. Andy carefully opened his eyes and squinted at her, breathing heavily both from their previous activities and the pain. 

“I’ll do my best.” He gave a short laugh, only to wince in pain as it made his abdominal wound hurt even more. 

“I guess I should’ve let you get on top.” His attempt at humour made her snort before she pulled his good arm around her shoulders and helped him to the couch. After they had successfully lowered him into a sitting position, Sharon pointed a finger at him, accompanied by a glare. 

“You stay there and don’t move a muscle!” 

Finding his kitchen, she quickly filled a glass with cold water and returned to his side.

“Here, drink this. And then I’ll drive you to the hospital. This doesn’t look good at all.” 

She gestured at the dressing on his arm that was beginning to turn red with fresh blood. Sharon didn’t want to think about what his abdominal wound would look like after the stunt he pulled. 

“No, that’s not necessary. Really, I’m fine.”

Studying him with a raised eyebrow, Sharon tried to decide what to do. Her instincts told her to get him to an ER and have a doctor look at his injuries to make sure the stitches were still in place. He did look a little better already, though, colour having returned to his cheeks. Besides, if he really didn’t want to see a doctor, how was she going to force him? Heaving a resigned sigh, Sharon crossed her arms and stared at him. 

“Okay, I’ll make you a deal. You lie down on the couch and let me check those wounds to make sure you didn’t pull your stitches. If it’s something we can deal with here, I won’t insist, but if you managed to do some serious damage, you’ll get into the car without any complaints.” 

After a few seconds of trying to stare her down he reluctantly nodded his assent. 

“Good. Now tell me where you’ve got your first aid kit.” 

He gave her a wry look, the corners of his lips twitching upwards slightly.

“Yes, ma’am. It’s under the kitchen sink, ma’am.” 

Sharon rolled her eyes at him and walked back to his kitchen, trying her best to close her blouse with the remaining buttons on the way. With half the buttons missing, she had a hard time making herself look somewhat decent again, but tucking the blouse into her somewhat wrinkled skirt almost did the trick. It would have to be enough. 

When she returned to the living room, Andy had stretched out on the sofa and was busy trying to peel the bandage off his arm. Sharon gently slapped his hand away and, setting the kit on the low table, she took over for him, carefully revealing the cut. She winched at his hiss as the gauze finally came loose, dried blood making it stick to his skin. 

After having cleaned away the blood, she was satisfied to see that the bleeding was only minor and no stitches seemed to be torn. She carefully redressed the wound before she pushed up his shirt to get a look at the long slash in his side. 

She hadn’t known how bad it was until the gauze was pulled off and revealed the long cut, red, swollen and oozing fresh blood. This, too, looked painful but not serious enough to warrant a visit to the ER. Her left hand softly caressed his chest as the other cleaned the wound, before she put a fresh bandage on it. 

When she was done, she patted his chest gently, letting her hands linger, enjoying the feeling of his warm skin and coarse hair. 

“So, what’s the verdict, Doctor Raydor?” Andy grinned up at her, clearly enjoying the tender caress 

“You’ll live.” 

She returned his smile, her thumbs drawing small circles on his skin until he reached up with his uninjured arm, his hand cupping the back of her head, and tried to pull her down to him. Sharon resisted despite her own longing to feel his lips against hers again. Shaking her head at him, she lowered his shirt and got up, only to sit down on the armrest at his head. 

“You know this is what got you in trouble in the first place, so keep your hands to yourself and close your eyes. You need to rest.”

Her voice was soft and low and she buried her hands in his soft hair, gently rubbing his temples with her fingers. She ignored his pout and frustrated grunt, which quickly turned into a delighted moan as he let her soothe the pounding behind his closed eyes that had returned with a vengeance in the hallway. 

Sharon studied him as he gradually relaxed under her ministrations, his breathing deepening and his features relaxing as sleep slowly claimed him. In these quiet moments she could admit to herself that whatever it was they had between the two of them, it was affecting her a lot more deeply than she would’ve ever thought possible. It wasn’t just about the need to physically connect with another human being anymore. As unlikely as it was, Sharon had started to genuinely care about this man and she had the sneaking suspicion that it wasn’t one-sided.

It was a frightening concept, this idea of something meaningful developing between the two of them. After everything that had happened in the last two decades – with Jack and with Andy – Sharon wasn’t sure if she was ready to take that step or if she ever would be. Opening herself up again after so many years of making sure no one got close enough to hurt her would be difficult and she had to be sure that it wouldn’t backfire and that he was even interested. 

But that was a thought they could explore together another time. Some time when he was well again and after careful consideration of the consequences.

When she was certain that Andy had fallen asleep, Sharon brushed a stubborn strand of hair out of his face and placed a lingering kiss on his forehead, before she got up to leave.


	7. I’m (Still) Going Slightly Mad

**Time:** Present – shortly after the events of Chapter One, same day

 

 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

 

 “Wow! So you two have been… What? Fuck buddies? I’m impressed, darling. Never thought you’d be the type.”

Gavin grinned at her, enjoying her embarrassment, his eyes twinkling with amusement as he took in her flushed countenance. Her glare had absolutely no effect on him anymore. Those times were long gone and even back then, before they became friends, it had only been mildly scary. 

Sharon finally gave up, rolling her eyes at him as she leaned back in her seat, her third glass of wine in hand. It had long since gone dark outside and the quiet little restaurant had filled with the dinner crowd a while ago. 

“We’re no such thing. You and your dirty mind. We’ve… It’s only been…” 

Sharon sighed, frustrated with her own inability to put into words what was one of the most important relationships in her life. It was complex, so complicated that thinking about it often resulted in a headache and yet it was an endless source of warmth and laughter, stability and, yes, love. Only very recently had she allowed herself to consider that rather surprising development.

There had always been lust between them, physical attraction and the knowledge that together they were spectacularly explosive. That explosiveness had influenced many of their professional encounters, usually resulting in angry shouting matches. 

Somewhere along the way, they had stumbled into a grudging respect for each other. It didn’t show very often, easily pushed aside when tempers flared, but Sharon wasn’t too proud to admit that the intensity of most of their fights was probably due to the nature of their relationship – whatever that was. 

“It was twice and that was a long time ago. It’s not like we had a regular thing going on.”

Her pout spoke of disappointment and it made Gavin laugh again. He did wonder, though. What had kept her from dragging that handsome devil into her bed years ago? Not one to shy away from a tough interview, he asked her just that, receiving another of her evil stares before she finally relented.

“Well, for one, it took me a long time to acknowledge that I even wanted him there and I had no idea where he stood on the matter. After that night at his place after he had been injured, it took us a few weeks to actually talk about what happened. Work had been crazy for both of us and I suppose we both were a little reluctant to broach the subject.” 

Sharon took another sip of her Chardonnay before she continued. 

“We weren’t ready to jump into anything. Apart from those few encounters and the occasional less than pleasant run-in at work, we didn’t know a terrible lot about one another. We decided to change that. You know, meet for lunch or dinner occasionally, catch a movie or a play – that sort of thing. We wanted to take it slowly, try to see if we’d work out as friends.” 

Gavin gave her a long look, doubt written across his features. 

“From what you told me, I doubt that actually worked out. Sounds like you two have a history of jumping into it.” 

Anyone else would’ve gotten the full force of her Darth Raydor glare, but she knew that he was just teasing her. Why was he having such a good time at her expense, anyway? Sharon resolved to make sure she got some dirt on him before their next meeting. Payback was a bitch and Gavin Baker would very soon experience that first hand. For now, she was resigned to humouring him. 

“It did, actually. At least until Delk had me audit his squad.” 

Sharon’s lips pursed at the unpleasant memories of reawakened resentment and distrust. It was a bad time for all of them, but the fact that their wonderful friendship was one of the first casualties of her new assignment hurt worst. After those long and stressful days of having her every action, her every word questioned by everyone around her, she had longed for nothing more than one of their quiet dinners and a good dose of Andy’s quirky humour. 

“We barely tolerated each other for a long time. He felt betrayed by my investigation and the fact that I didn’t talk about what it was I was looking for. I was hurt by the way he acted, dismissing our friendship like that. When we finally started to come out of it, I transferred to Major Crimes and became his boss. That gave us an entirely new level of complications to deal with.” 

Gavin noticed the shadow of sadness that had fallen onto her features and he really didn’t like it. He would just have to steer her thoughts towards more pleasant memories. 

“From your frantic search for a sexy outfit I gather that things changed for the better again.” 

The soft smile playing around Sharon’s lips already said enough, but he knew that she would elaborate. After a glass of wine it usually took very little prodding to get her to open up. 

“It did. It was a slow process, but we got back to that friendship eventually and we let it grow. Our positions make things a little bit more complicated now. We were reluctant to make any changes at all, even keeping our friendship low-key. His daughter’s wedding finally gave us some forward momentum. You know how I get at weddings.”

Gavin snorted. Yes, he had seen her at a couple of weddings, all dreamy-eyed and mushy. It was cute in a somewhat pathetic way. He could imagine how that might have moved things along a bit. 

“Somehow his family got the idea that we were dating. It was rather amusing, actually, and I ended up attending a few more of their gatherings with him. It was never more than friendship, though. We didn’t even kiss again after that night years ago.” 

Her blush was adorable and he had to hide his grin behind his wine glass. 

“So what changed?” 

Another little prod to keep her going and he leaned back again to listen. 

“I got divorced.”

 

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

  _“Hey, what’s up with your gloomy mood today?”  
_

_Andy stood next to her at the break room counter, watching her prepare a cup of tea. When she noticed him, she pulled down another cup and picked one of those calming herbal blends for him. He smiled at that. She knew what he liked.  
_

_He studied her profile, taking in the slight frown, the tightness around her mouth, and the clouded eyes, their green a little darker than usual. Something was on her mind, had been for most of the day and it worried him that she couldn’t seem to shake it off.  
_

_“I got the papers back today. It’s official. The divorce is final.”  
_

_As the tea preparation was done and she waited for the water to boil, her fingers fidgeted before seeking and finding pockets to hide in. It was one of her biggest tells.  
_

_“It’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”  
_

_He knew from personal experience that it was never that easy. That sense of failure at holding those papers had been entirely unexpected for him, even thought, logically, he had known what it would mean long before. It just wasn’t the same, thinking about something and then actually being in that situation. Andy was pretty sure that this was what was on Sharon’s mind now. He hoped she would feel comfortable enough to talk it through with him so she could finally put it behind her.   
_

_“Yes, it is. I’m not having second thoughts. This was the right thing to do. It was long overdue, in fact and I’m glad it’s over.”  
_

_She paused long enough to pour the boiling water into their cups and cradled hers between her hands.  
_

_“It’s just… I just haven’t wrapped my mind around this new feeling. It’s been over 30 years and now to suddenly not be part of an us – no matter how screwed up it was – it will take some getting used to, I suppose.”_

_She shrugged, giving him a look that begged for him to understand. He did and his slight smile and the gentle nudge of his shoulder against hers told her so.  
_

_“You’ll get there eventually. Just give it some time. These things don’t happen overnight.”  
_

_For a long while they sipped their tea in silence, standing side by side, arms lightly touching. She enjoyed these moments with Andy when there was no need for words between them. Leaning her head against his shoulder, Sharon allowed herself a rare moment of indulgence while at work. It was very late and they were the last members of the team still in the office. She took a deep breath, reveling in the familiar scent of his aftershave and letting it comfort her.  
_

_Sharon felt him shift slightly as he put one arm around her shoulder and drew her even closer, brushing a tender kiss into her hair. Sighing happily, Sharon closed her eyes and let her mind drift away from her troubling thoughts. His presence usually had that effect on her.  
_

_When Andy finally broke the silence, his voice was low and held an uncharacteristic note of uncertainty.  
_

_“So… You’re not a married woman anymore.”  
_

_Sharon thought about that statement, realizing that this was a big part of why being divorced was such a big deal. Her marriage had been many things, most of them bad – at least in the last 20 years, but it had always provided a safety net. It was a reason to keep her heart to herself. Jack had stopped being a danger to it long ago and no one else would lay claim to it while she was still married. Now she was free, for the first time in over 30 years, and it scared her.  
_

_As she felt Andy’s heart beat steadily beneath her cheek, Sharon realised that, despite being married, her heart hadn’t been all that safe. This man had somehow managed to sneak through her defenses and claim it as his. And she had let him, had willingly surrendered it to him. So maybe she wasn’t really free after all. And maybe that was a good thing._

_Covering the hand that rested on her arm with one of hers, she held onto him, their fingers entwined._

_“No, I’m not.”_

_Andy tightened his hold around her briefly, his head resting on top of hers, thinking about his next question for a minute._

_“I know it’s still a bit early, so I don’t expect an answer right now or anything. I just want to put it out there for you to think about, okay?”_

_Sharon hummed, waiting for him to continue.  
_

_“I was wondering if you would mind if I asked you out on a date. You know, a real one, now that you aren’t a married woman anymore. Don’t answer now. Just think about it.”_

_The small jolt of arousal that shot up her spine was unexpected. Sharon had been convinced that, when the day came, she’d be paralyzed with fear. Instead she felt happy and at peace. It was sweet of him not to pressure her into anything, but Sharon realised that she didn’t need more time._

_“No, I wouldn’t mind if you were to ask me out, Andy.”_

_  
_

-0-0-0-0-0-0- _  
_

A week later, he had done just that. With some rather tough cases coming in one right on top of the other, it had been almost a month until they could find a convenient date, which was two days from now. Hence the need for a new dress. 

“Okay, so the big day is on Sunday and the way you’re obsessing over your looks I’m guessing we’re skipping the first two dates? What’s with that overly critical attitude of yours, by the way? That’s so unlike you, honey.” 

He was seriously concerned about that. All amusement had vanished from his voice and he studied her with an earnest look.

“Gavin, it’s not so unusual, really. I’m not 30 anymore and it’s getting hard to deny.” 

She let her gaze drop to her chest for a second before she fixed it onto her glass once again. 

“Certain things aren’t as firm as they used to be. It worries me that he might have this picture of me in his head, of what I looked like all those years ago and I wonder if he’ll be disappointed by what he’ll see. Not to mention that it has been quite a while. It makes me a little nervous.” 

As hard as it was to admit, it was the truth. Sharon Raydor was scared out of her mind at the thought of letting Andy get that close to her. Yet, at the same time she wanted nothing more. 

Gavin was back to laughing at her. 

“Honey, you’re not just a little nervous. You’re so tense I’m surprised you haven’t sprained something yet. You need to relax. And stop worrying about what you look like. You’ve got an amazing body.”

Sharon shot him a skeptical look, one eyebrow raised. 

“Don’t give me that look. Just because it’s not my cup of tea doesn’t mean I don’t know what it should look like. I’ve seen you in your underwear, sweetheart. Believe me when I tell you that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you look. You’ve got a rather spectacular ass and I know women half your age, who would kill for legs like yours. Stop being ridiculous.”

She rolled her eyes at him, but decided to believe him. At least for the moment, until the next time she caught sight of her reflection in a mirror. Besides, Andy must be aware of the fact that time would’ve left its traces on her, just as it had on him. She fondly thought of the silver strands in his once black hair and the slight rounding of his stomach. Gavin was right, they probably would be okay. A lot more than okay, she hoped, excitement making her body tingle as she thought about Andy.


	8. A Love Worth Living For

**Time:** A few days after the events of Chapter One and Seven

-0-0-0-0-0-0-

 

 They strolled down the street along the small park arm in arm. They had left the car near the restaurant where they’d had dinner earlier and decided to walk to the theatre, which now gave them the opportunity to enjoy the fresh LA night air. Andy was more than happy to spend this additional time with her, even though they had run out of things to talk about a while ago. Just feeling her warm presence next to him, her hand on his arm, their hips and shoulders touching as they moved was more than he would ever have hoped to have with her. 

And yet, here they were, having seamlessly slipped from their friendly dinners into this incredible evening full of possibilities. It wasn’t so different from their previous outings. They talked and joked and laughed, they went over things that worried them about their families or a particularly difficult case – it was easy and comfortable. This time, however, there was an additional layer to their interactions. Looks lingered longer, smiles were softer and frequently, a gentle hand would be placed on an arm or fingers would brush, entwining on the table between them. In the theatre he’d had a hard time concentrating on the actors as her hand had somehow ended up resting on his thigh, covered by his own. 

When he had picked her up earlier, Andy had been incredibly nervous. In all the years they had known each other, there weren’t many things they hadn’t done, but to actually go out on a date, to take that next step was a lot bigger. They had been headed in that direction for a long time, but the last month had been agony, having him shift from eager anticipation to slight nervousness to anxiety and back, a state of mind he had seen reflected in her furtive gazes and fidgeting hands whenever they had been alone at work. 

The moment she had opened her door earlier that evening all that had fallen away from him, leaving him with an overwhelming sense of rightness. This was where he wanted to be and whenever their eyes met Andy knew that they would figure it out. Something had always drawn them together, and they were good together, always had been, as long as they kept talking. They had only ever really gotten in trouble when they’d made assumptions about the other. He would make sure they wouldn’t go down that road again.

As they neared his car, Andy wondered about their next step. Officially, this was their first date, but the tension between them did not feel at all like that. Whatever might happen next, it wouldn’t be their first time and yet, it was. So much time had passed since they had been close like that. He could still feel her lips on his, her firm body against his, even after all these years and he wanted her desperately. Should he just come out and tell her, hope she’d let him kiss her and maybe take him home or should he be a gentleman, drive her home, kiss her cheek and say goodnight in front of the elevator doors? The question almost drove him insane. He had resolved to never assume anything where their relationship was concerned, hadn’t he? Might as well start right now. 

Upon reaching the car, Sharon turned towards him and gave him a questioning look as he let her arm slip out of his only to take hold of her hand. He awkwardly tugged at his ear, his eyes on their joined hands. 

“So, what’s the proper protocol for first dates these days?” 

Carefully looking up, he was surprised to see her laugh openly. 

“You’re asking _me_? I can’t even remember when I last was on a date, let alone a _first_ date.” 

They stared at each other for a moment, both grinning, trying to decide how to proceed in the obvious absence of any clear guidelines. 

“I guess we’ll have to play it by ear, then.” 

At her nod, he continued, his voice low as he stroked the backs of his fingers along her cheek, holding her gaze with his. 

“Just let me know if it’s going too fast for you.”

His lips were so soft on hers, just a tentative caress as his hands went into her hair, cupping her head. Sharon closed her eyes and let her arms slide around him, gripping the material of his shirt.

For a long moment, they exchanged delicate kisses and gentle nips. Whenever they had kissed before it had been fast and hard and fuelled by anger, hurt, or desperation. She had never before taken the time to just feel, to let his scent envelope her, to be conscious of their shared breath, to enjoy the painfully slow build-up of arousal. It started as a gentle tingling in her core that slowly travelled through her veins until her toes curled and her fingers twitched with the need to touch every inch of him. 

When she moaned, Andy deepened the kiss, his tongue sneaking out to trace her lips, tenderly seeking access. Sharon took a step back to lean against the car, pulling him with her as she opened her mouth for him. In a continuation of their unhurried pace, they let their tongues meet, circling lazily, sliding over teeth and lips, tasting and caressing as their hands started to wander. 

Andy let his hands slip under the jacket he had draped over her shoulders earlier, letting them slide down her sides, his thumbs brushing along the sides of her breasts and making her shiver. He caressed the curve of her ass, pulling her against him, his arousal evident against the soft pillow of her belly. 

The heat between them increased with every nip and kiss, with every flick of the tongue, every loving touch until the need to shed those hindering layers that separated them became almost unbearable. Sharon unashamedly ground against him, wishing her tight skirt would allow her to straddle one of his strong thighs. She was almost delirious with want, every cell of her body screaming to feel his skin against hers. Any thoughts of first dates and proper etiquette were lost in a sea of desire. They had been drifting towards this for years and she simply didn’t wish to wait any longer. She needed him and he needed her. It was that simple. 

“Take me home, Andy.” 

Neither her tone nor the heated look in her eyes left any doubt in his mind that she didn’t intend for him to bid her goodnight in front of the elevator doors. It sent another wave of desire down his spine and he seriously needed to slow down a bit if he didn’t want it all to end too soon. 

Andy grabbed the lapels of the too-big suit jacket that covered her and drew her in for another quick, tender kiss before he pulled back and wrapped the jacket more tightly around her, smoothing the fabric with nervous hands. He gave her a long look, taking in her accelerated breathing, the slight flush on her cheeks and her swollen lips, before he stepped away to open the door for her, fighting the urge to press her back against the car again.

The instant Andy had slid into his own seat, the door closing behind him, her hands were on him, dragging him into another kiss. He let one hand sink into her hair, the other landing on her knee, slowly inching up a silky thigh as far as her tight skirt allowed. For a moment he thought Sharon would climb over the centre console and into his lap and he didn’t think he would have stopped her. Instead, they reluctantly pulled out of the kiss, their foreheads resting against each other as they tried to get their breathing under control. 

Surrounded by her sweet scent and her warm breath on his cheek, Andy had a hard time focusing on anything else, but he wanted her badly and, while tempting, fooling around in the tight confines of his car was not what he’d had in mind for tonight.

Giving her thigh a gentle squeeze, he put a respectable distance between them once again, the fingers of his other hand gently brushing along her jaw before he grabbed the steering wheel a little tighter than strictly necessary. 

After he had started the engine and pointed the car towards his little bungalow, Andy’s right hand reached out for hers and their fingers entwined in the space between them, the silence around them heavy with barely restrained desire. 

Sharon let her head fall back against the headrest, her eyes closing as she enjoyed the warmth of his hand around hers. Traffic was pleasantly light this late in the evening and, with her thoughts focused on the man beside her and her anticipation being close to unbearable, she was glad that they reached their destination relatively quickly.

When the front door closed behind them, Andy dropped his keys on the small table in the hall before he guided Sharon straight towards his bedroom, a gentle hand resting against the small of her back. There was no hesitation in either of them, no thought spared for the soft leather sofa they passed or a hot cup of coffee. They were both sure of what they wanted. They had done the hurried fuck against a wall and the clumsy couch sex. This would be different, without bruises and carpet burn and without regrets. 

Sharon set her purse on the dresser next to the bedroom door as she felt Andy’s hands on her neck, slowly dragging the jacket off her shoulders. He tossed it onto an armchair in the corner before focusing his attention on her neck and the v-shaped expanse of bare skin beneath, his hands brushing her hair over one shoulder to expose her to his wandering lips. 

She closed her eyes and braced one hand against the dresser to keep her balance as he stole her breath with the feather-like touch of his fingers, lips and tongue. Very slowly, inch by maddening inch, he lowered the zipper in the back of her dress, his tongue trailing along in its wake, circling each newly exposed vertebrae.

When he reached the lacy barrier of her panties, he reverently kissed each rounded cheek, nipping the yielding flesh until she moaned before he continued down the back of one thigh and up the other, the dress finally parting completely. 

He had dreamed of doing this all evening, the zipper that went all the way down the back of the dress drawing his attention every time he caught sight of Sharon’s backside. That he actually got to play out one of these fantasies was more than he had dared hope for. 

Kneeling behind her, Andy let his tongue trace the scalloped edge of her panties from one hip to the other as his hands moved up her sides to cup her lace-clad breasts, his thumbs flicking over her nipples. 

Sharon moaned once more at the almost painful pleasure his touch evoked. His slow exploration was killing her, her body trembling with desire. When he pinched her nipples, she finally turned around, let the dress slide down her arms to pool on the floor, and dragged him to his feet. They ignored the popping of his knees, their lips already locked in another hungry kiss as Sharon began to peel him out of his clothes with deliberate movements. 

When Andy tried to open the clasp of her bra, Sharon took a step back, removing his arms from around her and placing them at his sides. She gave him an almost desperate look, silently begging him to let her have this moment and he relented, trying to relax when relaxation was the furthest thing from his mind. 

Her eyes never left his as she loosened his tie and slowly slipped it off his neck, tossing it on the chair to join his jacket, before her nimble fingers made quick work of the buttons of his shirt. His skin burned where she brushed against it as she went on her own exploration with lips and tongue. His shirt fell to the floor, but he didn’t really notice, Sharon’s teeth closing around one of his nipples at the same time, drawing a hiss from him. The slight pain shot right to his groin, making him twitch in the uncomfortable confines of his pants. 

Her hands caressed his bare chest, travelling down to his stomach. She lingered on the long, slightly faded scar at his side, tracing it with her fingertips. He heard her shuddering breath and looked down at her. Her gaze was focused on his middle and she seemed lost in thought for a moment, before she looked up at him again, the haunted expression in her eyes making way for gratitude, happiness and longing. The force with which she launched herself at his lips mirrored what he had seen in her gaze and he returned her kiss with equal fervor, desperate to keep the ghosts of the pasts away. 

When her fingers resumed their torturous journey down his torso, he let his eyes close again, a shiver running down his spine as she drew further and further down until she set to work on his belt buckle.

He felt her open his pants and drag them and his briefs over his hips and down to pool around his ankles. Gentle hands turned him slightly and gave him a push backwards as his legs hit the bed.

When Andy opened his eyes, Sharon knelt on the floor before him, untying his shoes. He couldn’t remember ever having seen something so sexy. This strong, independent, stubborn woman, who always seemed to have the upper hand, was on her knees, divesting him of his remaining clothes. In nothing but her lacey underwear she presented a more than enticing view and it made him feel incredibly powerful, even though he was convinced that, right in that moment, he would do absolutely anything she asked of him.

With his legs finally free, Sharon pushed them apart, her hands moving up his inner thighs as she met his gaze. Her eyes had never been that green, deep and luminous like a mountain lake just before a storm. She licked her lips, her eyes flicking down to his middle for a second, and it was all Andy could do not to toss her onto the bed and sink into her. 

Instead, he leaned back on one hand and buried the other in her thick mane. It was a struggle to keep his eyes from closing once more when he felt her hot breath feather over him before she licked his hard length from base to tip, still holding his eyes with hers. She curled her long fingers around him and cupped his balls in her other hand, her tongue circling his head before she took him into her mouth completely. 

When she set a steady rhythm, her head bobbing up and down, Andy groaned and let his head fall back, his eyes closing after all. Her mouth was hot and wet around him, her tongue swirling around him whenever she came up and every time she hummed, he thought the liquid fire that crawled up his cock would consume him. He felt his balls tighten in her hand and for a second he was tempted to give in to the challenge in her eyes and come right there and then. He loved the thought that she was willing to do this for him, but this night was not about him; it was about _them_. 

Gently tugging on her hair, Andy signaled that the end of his control was fast approaching and with one last almost disappointed hum she let him go, kissing his glistening tip before she leaned up to capture his mouth. 

He slipped his arms around her and pulled her against him, their kiss slow and tender, both calming and incredibly arousing at the same time. Andy found the fastener of her bra and opened it, giving his hands unhindered access to the soft skin of her back. 

When breathing became more essential than their shared kiss, Andy pushed her away far enough to tug the bra off her arms and enjoy an unobstructed view of her breasts. He noticed her self-conscious blush and the way she refused to look at him and, hooking a finger under her chin, he forced her to meet his eyes. When he was sure he had her attention, he let his gaze wander over her, lingering on her breasts, her nipples begging to be suckled, before traveling further down to her slightly rounded belly, over her hips to her shapely thighs and all the way up again. Upon meeting her eyes again, he leaned in to her for another deep kiss. 

“You’re beautiful, Sharon.”

His words feathered over her lips on a warm breath, so quiet she almost didn’t hear him. The way he had just studied her had made her tingle with desire, erasing the last bit of doubt she had about the way she looked to him. Andy cupped her breasts gently, his thumbs circling around her nipples, sending a wave of heat straight down to her throbbing core. 

“Lay down on the bed. There’s something I’ve been meaning to finish for almost twenty years.” 

He saw confusion on her face for a second before she complied, getting to her feet far more gracefully than he had earlier. Andy took his time following her, taking in her incredible body, the long limbs and the mass of unruly hair. He wanted this moment to last forever, bottle up the anticipation and longing, the desire and love. 

The need to touch her once again won out over his sentimental thoughts and he crawled onto the bed, kissing his way up her legs. When he lingered at her knees, tickling the sensitive skin with his tongue, Sharon let her legs fall apart slightly, granting him access to her inner thighs. He drew random patterns along them with the tip of his tongue only to blow air over them, smiling at the goose bumps that erupted all over her body. 

This close to her centre, he could smell her arousal and it ruined his plans for a slow, torturous approach. He simply couldn’t wait any longer to taste her. Slowly dragging her panties down her legs, he threw them over his shoulder, not caring one bit where they might land or if they would find them again in the morning. 

Andy gently pushed her legs further apart, settling himself between them on his stomach as he let his fingers run over her hips and into the soft patch of curls. When his thumbs spread her already swollen lips, she moaned and thrust up towards him, silently begging for more. He let her wait a few more seconds, blowing soft air over her folds and delighting in the resulting shiver. As his tongue finally touched her, they both groaned. She tasted divine, sweet and salty and Andy knew he would never get enough of her. 

Her hands in his hair didn’t surprise him as she tried to urge him closer, spreading her legs even more. He refused to be rushed, a gentle nip to her inner thigh his only answer, before he went back to thoroughly exploring her. It was painfully obvious where she wanted him most, her hips shifting underneath him in an attempt to make it happen. He teased her with too-soft flicks over her clit only to focus his attention on her slick folds again, dipping his tongue into her, circling her and then plunging into her once more. It didn’t take too long before she was desperately bucking against his mouth, seeking the stimulation she needed. 

Drawing the torture out just a little more, Andy circled her opening, letting his nose bump against her clit as her juices rolled over his tongue. He could keep this up for hours, but her whimpering told him that she wouldn’t let him. When his nose nudged her again, Sharon tugged on his hair, groaning in frustration.

“Andy, please!” 

Finally giving in, he closed his lips around her clit, sucking and nibbling as he slipped first one and then two fingers into her. Her walls clamped around him immediately, already pulsing and throbbing with her impending climax. He thrust into her, curling his fingers slightly, his mouth and tongue finding the right pressure and rhythm, taking her moans and thrusts as cues. 

When she came with a strangled cry on her lips, hips bucking wildly against him, he stilled his hand, letting his tongue slide over her bud in a feather-light touch until she relaxed beneath him. She whimpered when he pulled out of her, a sound that turned into a moan as his tongue caressed her folds gently, until the occasional shivers stopped and she relaxed into a boneless mass of satisfaction. 

Planting kisses on her flushed and sweaty skin, Andy unhurriedly moved up her body, bracing himself on his arms to keep his weight off her. Upon reaching her breasts, he lingered, paying special attention to the puckered nipples. Sharon was already panting again by the time he moved on to capture her mouth. She wrapped her arms and legs around him and drew him against her and the contact made his breath catch. He groaned as his length settled against her hot centre, the slick folds sliding along him. 

Lingering in the fading haze of her orgasm for another moment, Sharon enjoyed their lazy kiss, tasting herself on his tongue. The sensation of his long and thick erection against her sent fresh shards of pleasure through her. Any thought of post-coital laziness deserted her in anticipation of having him inside her. She caught his face between her hands and fixed her eyes on his, rejoicing at the warmth they held. 

“I want you, Andy.” 

She almost didn’t recognize her own voice, deep and raw with longing and she saw his reaction to it reflected in his brown gaze. 

When he finally slid into her, a long moan escaped her, answered by his almost pained groan. He filled her perfectly, her muscles stretching around him. For a long moment they just lay there, his strong body cradled between her thighs and their foreheads touching.

It was a glorious feeling to connect like that, taking the time to process their physical reactions and emotional responses. Sharon marveled at the fact that her body seemed to recognize his after all these years and despite the subtle changes, her hands caressing the familiar outlines of his shoulders, his long back muscles, his strong arms. 

She moved her head slightly to plant soft kisses along his jaw, letting her muscles squeeze him inside her, pushing her hips against his. Their pace was unhurried, his thrusts long and deep, their tongues getting caught in their own leisurely duel. 

As their pace increased, their kiss grew more and more heated, until the need to breathe pulled them apart. Andy planted kisses along her jaw and neck, finding that secret spot right behind her left ear, making her squirm underneath him.

The friction of him inside her and their sweat-slicked bodies gliding against each other moved her further up, closer to that edge, as desire shot through her light lightning bolts. 

Andy nibbled on her earlobe, tracing the shell of her ear with his tongue before he moved down her neck, his lips lingering against her thundering pulse, his hips matching its frantic pace as he lost his rhythm. Their inarticulate noises, their laboured breathing and the blood running through her veins melted into one indistinguishable sound, almost like the roaring of the incoming tide.

Sharon teetered on the brink of another release, small waves of pleasure washing over her, building up to this one large one that would throw her off her feet. Andy shifted slightly to slip his hand between their bodies, his thumb pressing against her clit at a slightly awkward angle, but it was enough. The wave finally broke, pulling her down into the depth of oblivion, taking her breath away and leaving her disoriented and dizzy. 

She had a vague sense of him following her over the edge, a strangled shout of something that sounded like her name barely audibly over the roaring of the storm inside her.

When she took notice of her surroundings again, Andy was heavy on top of her, twitching inside her in response to her quivering muscles, his breath puffing against her neck and their bodies glistening with sweat, completely spent. She tightened her arms and legs around him once more before she released him. 

With a content sigh Andy rolled them over until he lay on his back with her tucked against his side, her head resting on his chest, her hand brushing through the coarse hair she found there until he intercepted it. Their fingers laced together on his stomach, they basked in the afterglow. 

Andy planted a kiss into her soft hair, elated that this woman actually wanted him, despite their awkward history and despite the fact that he could be an asshole sometimes. He might not have expected this outcome two decades ago, but right now, right here, he couldn’t be happier and he smiled into her curls. 

“I could get used to this.”

Sharon hummed in response, moving up to lean on one elbow as she looked down on him. She cupped his face with a gentle hand and slanted her mouth over his in a lingering kiss. Her thumb caressed his skin as her lips brushed against his ear, her quiet words washing over him and rendering him almost breathless. 

“I love you.”

Andy let the emotions her words evoked settle over him, let them take root in his heart. He met her eyes and was once again captivated by their colour, warmth and love and happiness dancing in their green depth. He could easily get lost in them for the rest of his life and he found not one single thing wrong with that. 

He drew her into another kiss, this one more passionate than the last. When he mumbled his response against her parted lips he felt her lips stretch into a smile. No, there was not one single thing wrong with forever.

 


End file.
